The first trailer for Eclipse, the third film in Stephanie Meyer's asexual vampire series, "dropped" this morning. At first glance, there doesn't appear to be much we haven't already seen in the Twilight movies: a pale, brooding Edward (Robert Pattinson)...an earnest, shirtless Jacob (Taylor Lautner)...and a Bella so indifferent to the attentions of her two suitors she might as well be in suspended animation (Kristen Stewart).
See what I mean? Aside from the whole "Volturi don't give second chances" comment, pretty much every scene could have been lifted straight from either of the first two movies. This is obviously due to the overall high quality of the series itself, and not at all indicative of other issues like repetitive dialogue, glacial pacing, and boring characters.
But if you look more closely, you'll see just what it is that appeals to so many pre-adolescent girls and lonely housewives who thought The Bridges of Madison County could've used a few vampires.
0:12 -- Is this the Pacific Northwest?
Could be. Then again, could be Middle Earth.
0:20 -- Whoa, hands where we can seem 'em, pal.
Vampires. Always pushing the limits of platonic affection.
0:23 -- You think this is the Pacific Northwest?
I'm still not seeing it...
0:25 -- The Renaissance Faire is thataway, kids.
One thing I never could stand about
Santa Carla Forks, all the goddamned LARPers.
Mr. McGee, please don't make me sparkly.
You wouldn't like me when I'm sparkly.
0:42 -- Guys, I'm pretty sure this is the Pacific Northwest
Though I still haven't seen a coffee place anywhere.
0:47 -- "I'm in love with you, Bella.
Stewart demonstrates one of her two emotions.
1:09 -- The bad guy
It's like Stevie Nicks and Shaun White had a baby.
1:21 -- "How many of these do I have to make?"
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Ah yes, there's the other expression. I think...
Boy, June 30 can't come fast enough.