Cash Smugglers Juan Sanchez & Pals: Soaking Wet & Wearing Only Underwear Is No Way To Transport $1.6 Million
More trouble for those pesky drug lords trying to get their cash from the marketplace in America to home in Mexico -- an employee, Juan Sanchez, just got more than seven years in a federal prison for doing their dirty work.
We're sure the drug lords are taking that in stride. They may miss the $1.6 million Sanchez got nabbed with, but cost of doing business, right?
The best thing about it all is the visual that comes from the prosecutors' description of his arrest: He had stopped his cash-laden car on the U.S. side of the border in Laredo and proceeded to be seen conferring with "five individuals in their underwear, who appeared to have recently waded the river."
Because when you're dealing with $1.6 million in cash, nothing says "classy" like a bunch of guys standing around in their underwear.
If you're routinely smuggling large amounts of cash across the border, shouldn't you spring for some of those henchmen outfits from the old Batman series? Build a little esprit de corps. Show some pride for Team Coke.
Nope; instead you have your American guy drive a KIA sedan. You have him park it "at an intersection near the riverbanks of the Rio Grande River."
And at this intersection, you have him meet five dripping-wet dudes in their underwear. (The U.S. Attorney's office notes the five men "appeared to have recently waded the river.")
Sanchez tried to escape from the scene, but he was hampered by the fact he was driving a KIA sedan. Unless the Border Patrol's switched to Mini Coopers, Sanchez never had a chance.
The five other guys escaped, though. Back across the river, where one hopes they recovered their clothes.