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Chelsee Goins: East Texas Teen DWI Queen

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Chelsee Goins: Ride at your peril.
Meet Chelsee Goins. As inviting as the prospect may seem to some of you horndogs out there, you probably don't want to be jumping in the front seat of any car she's driving. The Longview 19-year-old racked up DWIs in both June and July of last year, and has just added a third earlier this week.

In fact, Goins is extremely lucky to be alive after her latest incident. According to KLTV, DPS troopers spotted her barreling down Interstate 20 at over 100 miles an hour during Monday's rainstorm. After wrecking her car, cops said, she was a staggering mess when they attempted to give her sobriety tests.

Cops also discovered an empty bottle of cough syrup in her purse. Asked if she'd consumed its contents, Goins gave this memorable reply, before posing for one of the oddest mugshots we've yet seen (included after the jump):

The last face you want to see hovering over your body on an operating table.
The last face you want to see hovering over your body on an operating table.
Gregg County Jail

"That's just what I do," she reportedly said. If the photos on her Facebook page are any indication, giving the whole world the finger is pretty much all she does.

While we wonder if she would explain the surgical mask she's rocking in the same blasé manner, we must admit we just don't know what's up with that.

Goins was taken to Gregg County Jail, where she was being held in lieu of $20,000 bond. A third DWI conviction would make her a felon and could bring her as much as two years behind bars, a shit-ton of community service, mandatory alcohol/drug treatment (possibly under lock and key), a $10,000 fine, a two-year driving ban and a mess of other stuff. Since she was already on probation for the previous two DWIs, she might be facing the upper reaches of the max penalties.

Let's hope the rehab component of her sentence sticks. She's young enough to completely turn her life around.


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