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This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit, clarity and whatever else we feel like at the moment.
We noted that Enron whiz Andy Fastow was back in town at a federal halfway house and therefore, obviously, would be looking for work. We offered several suggestions, and readers offered others.
Larry Kessler wrote:
Right before this story appears one headlined "Houston SCPA (sic) Suddenly Has 200 Small Dogs To Care For" which notes that "the dogs 'have a combination of internal and/or external parasites and moderate to severe skin conditions and need to be treated" and that "[v]olunteer groomers are needed because many of the dogs are matted and covered with feces and urine."
This story points out that, "Luckily the rules allow him to leave the facility for work or community service." Seems these problems can solve each other; perhaps when Mr. Fastow has completed a few weeks' community service at the SPCA washing urine and feces off flea-bitten and urine-soaked dogs, he'll qualify for a veterinary technician job.