If you have a falling out with a friend or a significant other, there are a number of responses. You can hold your head high, wish the other party the best, and move on with your life; you can shoot up a Luby's; or, as a girl we'll call Paula learned lately, you can post an ad on Craigslist as that person, giving their phone number and saying they like anal sex and want to get it on "right now." (By the way, that's one of the two listed responses we don't endorse.)
Paula (we didn't want the poor gal to go through any more indignities, so we're not using her real name) was alerted last week to a disturbing message posted on Craigslist's Casual Encounters section, where adults sometimes go to find anonymous partners into whose orifices they can insert a myriad of objects, saying pretty much the following: "Hi, my name is Paula, I'm 26, I'm a 39 DDD. I'm into anal and girl-on-girl action, and I'm ready to go right now! Call me, I need a stiff one."
"I am busty," Paula tells Hair Balls, "but, like, they don't even make [bras] in odd sizes, so I'm like, whoever it was, was an idiot."
She says that, although the ad was soon flagged, she e-mailed Craigslist's administrators, asking if she could find out who was behind the ad. Craigslist wouldn't reveal such information without a warrant, so Paula contacted the Katy Police Department.
But since it was a misdemeanor crime, and the IP information would come out of California, Paula says, KPD did not believe it was worth pursuing.
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"They wouldn't even ask the judge" for a warrant, she says. "I was like, 'Can you please ask the judge and have the judge say no?'"
She says she gave them the name of a girl friend she recently had a fight with, and while the police called the girl, she of course said she was not the responsible party. And in the meantime, Paula kept getting calls and e-mails from dudes who wanted to get it on, as it were.
"They were gross," she says. "They were extremely persistent....I was still getting pictures of their ding-a-lings the next day....Trust me, I was doing everything I could to save my phone number, because I've had it for a while. And eventually, I just had to let it go."
So, let that be a lesson to you: never have a falling out with a friend....unless you really are into anal and girl-on-girl action....