Relatively few of us get into fistfights as adults, or get run over by trucks. Fewer still of us bite off a chunk of someone's ear or flee the cops in a wheelchair.
In the history of mankind, perhaps only Davon LeShannon Stewart has done all four of those things in a single night.
According to a probable cause report on file in district court, here is how it all went down back on February 21.
Like so much other area mayhem, the action begins at a party at a Southwest Houston apartment complex. Stewart is hearing-impaired but can speak if needed, and he was there conversing with a man we'll call Jaime, who is also hearing impaired but speaks using sign language. Though it was only about 6:30 p.m., Stewart was alleged to have been drunk off his ass and constantly interrupting Jaime's conversation with a third man. Asked repeatedly to cease his abrasive buttings-in, Stewart kept right on yakking, until Jaime felt he had absolutely no recourse other than to tump a bottle of malt liquor on the fool's head.
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At that point, Jaime attempted to escort the soaked Stewart outside, but Stewart allegedly went on the attack. Police say he knocked Jaime's girlfriend out of the way and then grappled with Jaime, who says he managed to get Stewart into a bear hug. Somehow Stewart got loose and bit off a chunk of Jaime's ear, whereupon he fled into the night.
And was almost immediately run over by a Dodge Durango.
Stewart's left leg was substantially injured, so an ambulance whisked him off to Memorial Hermann Southwest. Police questioned him there and he gave them a fake name, under which he was initially placed under arrest for aggravated assault. A cop handcuffed him to a wheelchair and asked another cop to watch him while he completed some paperwork on the case.
Stewart was wheeled off for an X-ray, but while waiting in line, he cruised off into the night, still cuffed to his chair. Meanwhile, the two cops on the scene had learned his real name. One of the arresting officers eventually picked Stewart out of a photo array, and while he remained a fugitive for several weeks, and presumably got uncuffed at some point, he was picked up earlier this week. Now, a felony escape charge has been added to the aggravated assault rap, and at press time, he is behind bars with bail set at $60,000.