"Delino DeShields Jr. Hit in the Face With 90 MPH Fastball" Twitter Montage
I like to be out in front of this blogging process early in the weekend and have a post or two in the bag ready to go Monday morning by the time I'm done with breakfast on Sunday. That process requires staying on top of the action throughout the day on Saturday.
So Friday night, word began to spread about Astros blue chip prospect Delino DeShields, Jr., in a Double A game for the Corpus Christi Hooks, getting beaned in the face by a 90 miles per hour fastball in the seventh inning.
Because it was a Double A game in Corpus Christi, you'd have a better chance of finding a Tim Tebow sex tape upload than you would footage of poor DeShields getting plunked, but with social media, the pictures of the carnage began to leak out later that night.
Predictably, it wasn't pretty....
— Tanner Case (@ctcase10) April 19, 2014
So once we had confirmation that DeShields would indeed survive this horrific beaning, that he wasn't scheduled for emergency brain surgery or suffering from a serious skull fracture of any sort (broken cheekbone appears to be the prognosis, very survivable), this was going to be one of those snarky "Well, at least you had a better weekend than Delino DeShields Jr." posts.
You know, one of those schadenfreude-laden posts where we rationalize the bad in our existence by taking a twisted pleasure in not being somebody who just suffered in some way? Right, you know what I'm talking about. Posts like these are the fuel that runs most of the Internet, after all.
And then, Delino DeShields posted this on Saturday morning....
To anyone that is concerned as you can see I'm doing fantastic! Blessed to see another day! Always smiling lol pic.twitter.com/C5koD0Z5t9
— Delino DeShields (@LinoDeShields) April 19, 2014
Then, come to find out, he showed up at the damn ballpark the next day....
— Evan Drellich (@EvanDrellich) April 20, 2014
....albeit looking like somebody photoshopped a mudslide visual effect onto the right side of his face, but he showed up, and dammit if he wasn't thrilled to be at the ballpark. And then, at that moment, you realize what an asshole you were for pondering a post about "Hey, at least you had a better weekend than Delino DeShields Jr."
Because Delino DeShields Jr. is a badass whose head would require a thousand beanings before you keep him away from the ball park. Delino DeShields Jr. is happy to be alive.
And that, my friends, is a pretty damn good weekend!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.