Desmond Bryant's Mugshot Ends the "Best NFL Mugshot Ever" Debate
The Super Bowl is a few weeks into the rear-view mirror now, OTA's are a few months away, so for NFL players we are in the first "Crime Season" of the NFL calendar. Crime Season occurs in dormant weeks and months where undisciplined players really don't have anything to do except get into trouble with the law.
(For the record, the other Crime Season is from mid-June to the start of training camp. Or if you're Pac Man Jones, Crime Season is pretty much the whole calendar.)
Well, with Crime Season comes crime, and with crime comes mugshots, and this weekend we got perhaps the greatest mugshot since Ced Benson got into a fight with a family member back in 2011.
World, say hello to Desmond Bryant!
In case you need the backstory on this arrest, here you go (courtesy of sfgate.com):
Raiders defensive tackle Desmond Bryant was arrested in Miami on Sunday on a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief.
After allegedly going to a neighbor's house inebriated and causing a commotion, Bryant was booked at 9:24 a.m., according to Miami-Dade County records. A police report wasn't available.
Bryant was held on $1,000 bail.
Bryant, who went undrafted out of Harvard, is set to become an unrestricted free agent March 12. He had four sacks in eight starts for the Raiders last season, his fourth with the team.
How much do I love this mugshot? How much do I love this arrest? Let me count the ways.
1. After going through the ordeal with his mom calling 9-1-1 on him last summer and just the general jackassery that has defined him the last few years, of all the players in the NFL who needed the hassle of sharing a name with this clown, can you think of one that needs it less than Dez Bryant of the Cowboys?
Most reporters would take the time to make sure that the arrest indeed involved the Cowboys wide receiver, but all it takes is one to erroneously report that this was Cowboy Dez's latest run-in with the law. (And, of course, there was one.)
2. This Desmond Bryant was a member of the Oakland Raiders the last four years. That I saw coming....
3. This Desmond Bryant graduated from Harvard. That I did NOT see coming. Honestly, if you didn't know he went to Harvard, and you looked at this mugshot and someone asked you to guess what college Desmond Bryant attended, how many colleges do you guess before you get to Harvard? All of them?
4. According to Desmond Bryant's Wikipedia page :
Reflecting on his college years, Bryant told the Los Angeles Times: "The Ivy League's not really my type of environment. I had some really good teammates and friends, but outside of the football world I didn't interact much with the other kids."
So maybe he's just catching up on lost time. Ever think of that, touchy neighbors?
5. The resemblance between Desmond Bryant and former WWE wrestler Festus is uncanny!
6. Oh and this mugshot is SHIRTLESS. Johnny Football approves!
7. Straight from the Alec Ogletree book of terrible timing, Desmond Bryant becomes an unrestricted free agent in exactly two weeks. Oddly enough, given the Raiders history, there's an even-money chance that they now use the franchise tag on him.
The good news is that if they do put the franchise tag on Bryant, the Bengals will scoop him up in a heartbeat. You know what that means...TWO first round picks
that the Raiders can eventually trade for Blaine Gabbert and some magic beans.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.