Dog Contraception in the Name of Love

Socialites
Socialites
Photo illustration by Susan Du, "Portrait of Madame X" from Wikimedia Commons

Maybe you saw BARC's recent cry for help, or maybe it was the heartbreaking No One's Dog photographic exhibit at Diverse Works that finally convinced you to take on a furry roommate fresh off the streets. In any case, you now realize that you are the proud guardian of a teenager bent on propagating his adorable genes, but maybe you haven't quite wrapped your mind around being a grandparent yet. You might go for puppies in the future, but that conversation is best left for after he goes to school and gets a job to help with the rent.

For the dog owners who don't want to contribute to the hordes of sad strays roaming Houston's streets, and for the dogs who are just waiting for the right significant, here are some non-surgical methods of contraception.

1. The Pill

For the ladies who are into hers and hers matching outfits, there's another way you could demonstrate solidarity with your dog. There are a variety of dog birth control pills that the owner would administer at the beginning of the lady dog's heat cycle to delay ovulation. It works similarly to human birth control pills, and side effects include breast enlargement and weight gain. Nothing new. However the pill does increase the chance of breast cancer, so vet consultation is a must.

2. Liquid Drops

Cheque Drops is another pharmaceutical product that has proven to be a great short-term contraceptive, reversable in the long term. They are given to the dog orally every day for a month before she goes into heat, which means the owner would be expected to track her cycle. Best be accurate with that menstrual calendar, because you only want to give the dog liquid drops for as long as you absolutely have to. Long-term side effects include infertility and liver damage.

3. Chastity Belts

It's a pretty medieval concept, but why not? Put a belt around your dog's pelvic area and let him try. Products like PABS for Pets and Stud Stoppers are actually on sale, which means someone's gotta be buying them.

4. Zeuterin

Why zeuter when you can neuter? Well, so your pup can keep his balls, if you care about that sort of thing.

Zeuterin is a permanent, chemical solution to preventing breeding. There's still some risk to putting a dog through surgery, and with Zeuterin vets can opt for a single injection to each testes instead. The male dog can still produce a tiny bit of testosterone, which supposedly keeps them happy and healthy. They may still try to mate, but they won't be successful.

5. Dog Condoms

When it really comes down to it though, who are we to deny our dogs romance and sexual satisfaction? If it is their prerogative to populate the city with their progeny, perhaps they should be allowed to do at least attempt. For that there is the option of pet condoms. The only downside is that you, the owner, must apply them! But don't worry, it's easy.

Dog Contraception in the Name of Love
Screenshot of www.petcondoms.org

"Put it on before they get it on." Buy them here: http://www.petcondoms.org/


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