One of these days, the Los Angeles Clippers will get sold. It may take an act of Congress, it may take an act of God, it may take a hit man to remove Donald Sterling as the annoying variable that he's been for the last six weeks.
But rest assured, it will happen. It just may not happen any time soon.
About two weeks ago, former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer struck a $2-billion deal to buy the Clippers. He worked out the deal with Sterling's wife, Shelly, who presumably had control of the family trust and, therefore, the authority to enter into an agreement with Ballmer.
At the core of Shelly Sterling's presumed authority to enter that agreement was the necessary diagnosis by doctors that Donald Sterling is not mentally fit to run the team, a contention multiple doctors backed.
However, Donald Sterling is not going quietly into the night.
Twice, Donald Sterling had threatened the NBA, Adam Silver, and most of the free world with litigation, and twice he had backed off, the second time essentially consenting to the Ballmer deal for $2 billion.
However, showing all of the decisiveness of a junior high girl (or an octogenarian with oncoming dementia), Sterling has decided once again to launch his ten figure assault on the NBA. As Ping the Chinese Delivery Guy would say... "LAWSUIT BACK ON!!!
Here is the latest statement from Donald Sterling, courtesy of TNT's Rachel Nichols' Twitter feed:
New statement from Donald Sterling. Seriously ups the language railing against Adam Silver, NBA's "reign of terror" pic.twitter.com/DXZmHkHtUn
— Rachel Nichols (@Rachel__Nichols) June 10, 2014
"THIS IS THE REASON I WILL NOT SELL MY TEAM."
Doesn't get any clearer than that, I suppose.
Also, Sterling's appeal to America to fight for our first amendment and privacy rights has me humming "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and wrapping myself in the American flag. Even in a just country like ours, there are many injustices. Donald Sterling is the one who will fight the good fight for all of us, and right those wrongs.
We want him on that wall. WE NEED HIM ON THAT WALL.
If Sterling's goal is to keep the Clippers and remain the owner, he is fighting what will probably be an eventual losing battle. Honestly, I don't care either way who owns the team. When the worst case "punishment" for Sterling is a ten figure windfall, it's hard to feel like there's any real "justice" being meted out on any level.
Now, if Sterling's goal is to just be a general pain in the ass and burn the whole figurative NBA house down on his way out the door, up to and including going to court and having told on NBA dirty laundry aired, well, DAMMIT someone get me my popcorn! I am all in on that!
For what it's worth, Shelly Sterling may have some reason for concern, as TMZ reported that Ballmer's $2 billion deal has an out clause that allows him to say "Screw this, Donald is too big of a kook" (or something along those lines).
My own opinion -- there are only 30 NBA teams, and there's only one for sale. Ballmer is acting alone and has no minority investors (that we know of) to answer to. Ballmer wanted the Clippers bad enough to pony up $2 billion in what amounted to high stakes eBay. I'm guessing he's not going to let the maniacal rantings of a racist, jilted old man drive him away from his dream to own an NBA team.
For now, Shelly Sterling's comments on the situation are a string of "No comments" to this TMZ street iPhone camera thug....
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So there you have it -- the Clippers ownership situation, as jacked up as it ever was.
Still, easily the most disturbing thing to come from this story is the mental image of Shelly Sterling wearing anything from Victoria's Secret.