DPS Is Super Worried About Glitter Bombs

Well, glitter bombing has now been deemed both dangerous and a thing that gay rights groups are totally into, according to the powers that be at the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Last week, a DPS captain sent out an email to Texas legislators warning that certain nefarious groups have been glitter-bombing certain super-conservative legislators. Apparently, whoever opens the mail at state Rep. Debbie Riddle's Spring office was the latest victim of this sparkly explosion and these bombs have been showing up at the offices of conservative Texas legislators with enough regularity that the DPS felt the need to warn everybody about it.

According to DPS logic, gay-rights advocates were the likely culprits, though the document issued with the email glitter bomb warning notes that other liberal groups, including abortion-rights activists, might be prone to using these glittery tactics.

"Glitter bombing is a relatively recent phenomenon and has been adopted as a form of protest, particularly (but not exclusively) by gay rights activists and supporters," the email reads, according to the Texas Tribune. It follows with a list of politicians who have so far been glitter-bombed. "The common denominator among these political figures is a conservative orientation and opposition to gay rights, especially marriage equality."

The email even cautions -- and we're pretty sure they're not kidding on this one -- that glitter is dangerous because it can get in your eyes and nose and mouth and even your lungs. Yes, you're reading this correctly: According to the DPS, glitter not only gets everywhere when it comes exploding out of a package, it does so in a truly dangerous manner. Texas politicians are now apparently supposed to be viewing glitter as anthrax's shiny cousin.

There's a lot that boggles the mind about this one. For one thing, assuming that it's gay-rights activists doing the glitter bombing seems kind of like playing into a stereotype or two. For another, this warning -- complete with a link to a video that demonstrates a glitter bomb -- is coming from the same department that just a few weeks ago took on the open-carry movement by advising that they couldn't openly carry real or toy guns into the state capitol building, but were totally allowed to bring in real guns if they had a concealed permit. DPS really took a stand on the whole toy gun thing, though. Arrested someone and everything, according to Fox 7.

Of course, when we stop to consider the DPS track record, this dire glitter warning shouldn't come as a surprise. DPS has been issuing warnings and expecting the very worst from liberals and progressives for a while now. Back in 2013, in the middle of the protests against Senate Bill 1, the DPS issued a news release claiming that the abortion rights protesters that swarmed the capitol building did so armed with jars of urine and feces. The claims were greeted with some raised eyebrows among both the media covering the protests and state lawmakers, according to the El Paso Times, but DPS simply declined to comment on the matter from that point on.

Point being, DPS has a strange and at times downright fascinating view of what constitutes a threat around the Lege, and right now it seems that at the the top of their list of potentially scary things is, well, glitter.


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