DPS To Recruit, Use, Possibly Brainwash Schoolkids

Everyone's an informant

A shocking program by the Texas Department of Public Safety will transform young, impressionable schoolkids into snitches who just might get their own parents arrested, DPS spokeswoman Tela Mange has confirmed to Hair Balls.

Not in so many words, to be sure, but the implications are clear. To us, anyway.

DPS has announced that highway troopers will be riding school buses for National School Bus Safety Week beginning Monday, with an eye to catching drivers who illegally pass stopped school buses.

The troopers will radio ahead to cruisers from DPS or other law enforcement agencies and have the violators nabbed.

Simple, right? Protecting Our Kids, The Future? h, it's much more ominous than that.

We asked Mange if, in addition to traffic violations, bus-riding troopers would be laying down the law on all the rap-listening, Bieber-worshipping, non-homework-doing kids who get away with so much these days, not like when we were in school.

Her reply was shocking.

"No, they're looking for naughty things outside the bus, not inside," she began, reasonably enough. "Actually, it's a lot of fun -- troopers who have done this say the kids all turn into junior crimefighters, helping to look for drivers. So it's a great recruiting tool for us, too."

Yeah, sure: Get `em while they're young. We understand. So did Hitler.

And what if one of those drivers is a kid's own parent??? Should we put delicate youngsters in such a moral dilemma? Help out the nice DPS officer, even if it means seeing Mom get hit with a $1,000 fine?

Frankly, we're appalled. But then again,  we're pretty appalled at the utter idiots who blithely speed by a stopped school bus unloading kids, so there's that to consider, too.

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