Electronic Frontier Foundation, Others Seek To Protect Texas Masturbators
The anonymous masturbators being sued in a Dallas federal court for allegedly illegally downloading porn won't have to reveal their identities if the consumer advocacy groups representing them have their way: the Electric Frontier Foundation and Public Citizen have filed briefs seeking to block German porn merchant Mick Haig Productions from obtaining the defendants' names.
"The suits seem designed to ensure that few, if any, defendants will fight back, given the risk of shame from being publicly identified," EFF attorney Matt Zimmerman stated in a press release. (The 670 defendants/filthy perverts have been sued as John Does -- not to be confused with porn star John Dough, star of both the fifth and seventh installments of the timeless One in the Pink, One in the Stink series.)
Specifically, Zimmerman means being publicly identified for downloading Der Gute Onkel (The Good Uncle), a bit of wacking material hilariously referred to by Mick Haig Productions as a "motion picture."(The original complaint is peppered with sentences like "Plaintiff now seeks redress for this rampant infringement of its exclusive rights in the motion picture, 'Der Gute Onkel.'")
Hair Balls looked long and hard (HEY-OH!) but we couldn't find the box-cover images for the video, which is described alternately on BitTorrent sites as "teeny redhead gangbanged" and "petite teen redhead fucked by uncle." (One site appears to provide NSFW screen shots, from the motion picture, although none of the nieces in question appear to have red hair).
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTSA Roadrunners Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 6:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. UCF Knights Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 11:00am
By the way, we're not sure why Der Gute Onkel was any more popular than Mick Haig Productions' other motion pictures, like Oma im Mannerpuff (Gangbang Grandma); Opa's Gnaden Stoss (Grandpa's Coup de Grace); or Tittenparty Im Teenieclub (do we really need to translate?).
Meanwhile, EFF also filed a friend-of-the-court brief in a similar case, filed in West Virginia, involving a porn company going after 1,243 dudes who downloaded Tokyo Teens, a refreshing change of pace from gangbanging grannies and semen-spewing grandpas.
We assure you, we will stay on top of this case. HEY-OH!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.