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Emo Poems About Adult Every Day Life

Don’t understand the 14-year-old daughter / niece / cousin in your life who shops at Hot Topic and won’t get that dyed black hair out of her face? Not enough to tell her you were punk rock too, once? Try sharing some of these poems with her…instant connection, Miss Pop Rocks guarantees it.

Breakfast in the Kitchen The toaster gleams like the knife That cuts the soul of myself I watch the burning coils sear through the Bread of my heart How could you betray me? How could you leave me and never return? Damn you, toaster Where is my toast?

Rush Hour Traffic The man in front of me Drives a Prius Once, I thought it would make a difference Ending the warming of our globe The death of our humanity Now I know the Prius is a lie Just like our love was Coffin Highway Death

Mary in Accounting Needs Your Expense Report xoxoMaryxoxo Do you hear me calling you? Why, Mary? Why can’t I have your trust like I once did? The times we talked by the community coffee You gave me what was left of the Coffee-Mate Our trust Like the swirling brown dregs of the Coffee-Mate Is dead to me now

Who’s Picking Up the Baby at Day Care? Like the black flowers of nightshade So is the long drive to the day care in traffic And I need to stop at Walgreens So can you please pick up the baby at day care? She is the… Flesh of your flesh Blood of your blood Yes, I know we have run out of cat food I will get some

We Could Order a Pizza The phone bill is like white searing metal On the desk and remember (although it brings you pain) We don’t have the money, really (Or the love or the trust or the mortgage payment) But Let’s get a pizza With extra agony

Did You Take the Clothes Out of the Dryer Like I Asked You To? When you said you didn’t take the clothes out of the dryer Like I asked you to It was like you were stomping on my heart And turning it into small shreds of beating red And then I crumpled into hot tears Because you forgot the fabric softener

You Should Just Get the Vasectomy No, don’t touch me I forgot to take my pill again I know it will be the cut of death And your manhood recoils in suffering at the thought of it But you should just get the vasectomy Insurance will pay To take away your lifegiving power Now the baby is crying Really, you should just get the vasectomy Shit, we forgot to do the taxes

-- Jennifer Mathieu


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