Fake Tatas on the Rock of Love Bus
What could you do with all the fake tatas on the Rock of Love Bus?
You could make a raft big enough to save all the people from that Hudson River plane crash.
You could rebuild the face of a young burn victim.
You could make one million rubber door stops.
I just went to this site to find out what else could be done with all the fake tatas from the Rock of Love Bus.
Mobile phone protectors.
Dry cleaning solvent.
Lubricant for a Rubik's Cube (serious).
Juggler's balls. (The kind they toss, you know.)
So many things that could have been done with the fake boobs on the bus, yet all that silicone has gone to waste to blow up the breasts of space cadets. Their boobs don't even look like boobs! They look like enormous, straining orbs of plastic. I mean, I can't even make a proper metaphor or analogy. They are just big, skin-colored balls sitting unnaturally on a woman's chest.
Imagine being in bed with all those women. It would be like being attacked by forty flesh-covered aliens in the shape of bowling balls. How could that possibly be sexy?
I think it would hurt.
Freaky, man. Freaky.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- HBU Says the Feds Are Forcing It to Sin (And These Uber-Conservative Judges Agree)
Thu., Oct. 8, 8:00pm
Fri., Oct. 9, 12:00am
Sun., Oct. 11, 12:00am
Mon., Oct. 12, 12:00am
- KHOU vs. DISH Contract Standoff Still Isn't Over
- College and NFL Football: This Weekend's Best Bets