Fan Fighting League! Cowboy Fan Fights Falcon Fan On MARTA Train
A lot of angst this time of year for football fans. Think about it, even the richest of the rich have something to bitch about this time of year.
The Broncos beat the Texans on Sunday, but lost pass rusher extraordinaire Von Miller for the rest of the season to an ACL tear. The Seahawks are on their way to a number one overall seed in the NFC, and they lost to Arizona on Sunday, at home.
So if the best teams are a little on edge, how do fans of the mediocre or bad teams feel? (That "bad" question is one Texan fans should be able to answer fairly easily.) Well, if this little battle between a Cowboy fan and a Falcon fan on the MARTA train is any indication, there's plenty of stress to go around.
Ok, before we Zapruder this thing, I think it's worth pointing out that this is the first FFL (short for "Fan Fighting League") video we've seen on a train. We've done several in the stands at games, we've done a few in the parking lot, but never on public transportation. So I'm giddy, like the same way I felt going into the first ever Hell In A Cell match in WWE.
Ok, Zapruder time now...
0:02 -- Off the top, we can tell this is not going to be an easy one to follow, thanks to the video angle. You can tell this is going to be jumbled, like if you watched an entire football game from a first person POV helmet cam. Also, lots of yelling back and forth.
0:05 -- The Cowboys are 8-7. A pretty robust performance compared to the Falcons' putrid 3-12 record. So are Cowboy Fan's taunts technically considered bullying? Asking for a friend
named Jonathan Martin.
0:18 -- Cowboy Fan is just repeating "What up, CUZ? What up, CUZ? What up, CUZ?" Worst WWE promo guy ever. Terrible catchphrase, and awful, repetitive trash talk. This guy better have some serious brawling skills, or he will be completely unmarketable as a FFL superstar.
0:23 -- Falcon Fan looks like he's pretty chill, even smiling a little bit as he dangles from the steady bar up above. Cowboy Fan starts in with some smack about the "when the last time you been to a Super Bowl," which is pretty funny considering Atlanta has been to a Super Bowl more recently than the Cowboys.
0:29 -- This cameraman is truly terrible. We are getting long shots of the back of Cowboy Fan's coat, just as this thing is starting to escalate, which is like zooming in on a quarterback's shoe during the snap on a 4th and 1 in the red zone.
0:30 -- Uh oh...we have our first "F**K YOU." Cowboy Fan may want to slow down and get a time out...
0:38 -- ...oh man...our first n-bomb from Cowboy Fan....dude, Cowboy Fan, I'm telling you, you may want to get a time out....
0:43 -- ....Falcon Fan, no longer chill....Cowboy Fan with another n-bomb....may want to get a time out, Cowboy Fan....here it comes...as Dickie V would say, "better get a T.O., baaaaabyyyyy..."
0:47 -- ...the sleeping giant has been awoken, as a civilian tries to keep Falcon Fan at bay, and Cowboy Fan is asking him to "swing, [n-word]"...
0:54 -- ...well, ask, Cowboy Fan...
0:58 -- ...and ye shall...
1:01 -- ...RECEIVE. POW.
1:03 -- Falcon Fan is raining blows down on a prone Cowboy Fan, like Frank Costanza at Wal-Mart on Festivus, pelting him with five clenched fingers (one for each Cowboys Super Bowl) over and over and over and over again.
1:08 -- I'm sensing a lot of "Julio Jones was injured all season, we have no running game, Mike Smith and Matt Ryan are overrated, I care more than the rest of the Atlanta fans combined" angst in Falcon Fan. There's a lot more than just your garden variety "ass kicking of Cowboy Fan" going on here.
1:11 -- I think Falcon Fan actually leans in after the barrage of fists and mixes in a brief choke hold or gouging of the eyes. The crowd is popping huge for Falcon Fan, but you'd expect that on the MARTA train. The MARTA train is to Falcon Fan what the Alamodome is to Shawn Michaels.
1:17 -- Falcon Fan is not letting Cowboy Fan off the floor, and now the other MARTA patrons are gathered around the fight like O'Brien versus Paco Moreno in Bad Boys.
1:23 -- Falcon Fan rises, resolute in his beating of Cowboy Fan, leaving him as a grease spot on the MARTA floor. Finally, a win that the Falcons can hang their hats on.
(H/T: The Big Lead)
Starting January 3, 2014, listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
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