Fan Fighting League! It's FFL Playoff Time! Falcons Fans Pummel 49er Fan (w/ VIDEO..and Pepper Spray!)
When it comes to playoff time in the NFL, we know tensions can run high. They especially run high when you root for one of the chokiest of choking dog home teams in recent history, and yes, I'm looking right at you, Atlanta.
On the heels of the Falcons' most recent playoff collapse, a 28-24 home loss to the San Francisco 49ers in which they led 17-0, Atlanta fans were understandably looking for answers.
Based on the video below, it appears the first place they searched was the inside of one 49er fan's head, hoping that maybe they could beat it open with their fists and the answers would pour out like candy from a piñata.
Let's take a look:
Okay, time to get our FFL (Fan Fighting League, for the newly indoctrinated readers) Zapruder analysis on...
0:01 -- The production starts outside of the Georgia Dome, way across the street from the fight, so it's tough to make out the exact participants. All we hear is a commotion, so naturally in a city with a record of violence like Atlanta's, the smart thing to do is to gravitate toward the violence, like a moth to a flame.
0:11 -- Much credit to the cameraman for this video. Thankfully, he is REALLY fucking stupid and gets right up next to the fight. It appears that we have one African-American man (presumably a Niners fan) dressed all in black, and he is getting the ever-loving shit kicked out of him by several (presumably) Falcons fans.
0:16 -- Niners Fan is trying like hell to simultaneously fight back and escape through a crack in the security fence, not an easy double to pull off, considering there are about a dozen people grabbing him and the crack in the fence would barely accommodate a kindergartener.
0:19 -- The star of this video, without a doubt, is the dude in the white windbreaker, who is swinging on Niner Fan with the white hot ferocity of a young Tony Atlas. However, his form is somewhat sloppy. I mean, the straight-arm, unbent-elbow method is never going to give you maximum torque when the goal is to decapitate another human being. (That said, if he has a prosthetic arm, I take it all back. I don't want to be seen as insensitive.)
0:22 -- Niner Fan is reaching for people on the other side of the fence like they're holding a life preserver for him. And if this beatdown continues, they may be preserving his life.
0:27 -- By my count, the white-jacket straight-armed puncher got in 18 licks in about 12 seconds. What he lacks in technique, he makes up for in hand quickness and stamina.
0:28 -- Biggest punk ass in this video? The asshole in the white pants and black shirt who comes in with a karate chop to the back of Niner Fan's prone head. Although Kung Fu Joe is about to get his, because...
0:30 -- ...HERE COMES THE TEAR GAS!! At least, I think that's what it is. It's police officers shooting it, so it's got to be some sort of liquid deterrent. I'm fairly certain that the Atlanta police wouldn't go all "Stone Cold Steve Austin on the McMahons" and wheel in a beer truck to hose suds all over this debacle. The best part of this is that Kung Fu Joe appears to get the brunt of the pepper spray, which will completely kill his swag when he hits the clubs later that night. Last I checked (and it's been awhile), the ladies are not down with Eau de Mace as your cologne.
FFL WINNER: The Police. Scissors beats paper, paper beats rock, pepper spray beats everybody.
(h/t bustedcoverage.com for the video)
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. weekdays, and watch the simulcast on Comcast 129 from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- J.J. Watt Is Damn Near Immortal, Wins Third NFL Defensive Player of the Year Award
Fri., Feb. 19, 6:00pm
Fri., Feb. 19, 6:30pm
Fri., Feb. 19, 8:00pm
Sat., Feb. 20, 1:00pm
- No, Houston Will Not Make a Lot of Money Hosting the Super Bowl
- Charged With a Crime? You Might Be Paying a Court Fee That Is Basically Un-Enforceable