The FBI has put out an alert for someone it's calling "The Fashionable Felon," a woman who robbed a Wachovia Bank branch on the northwest side yesterday afternoon.
We realize the FBI was not created to be an arbiter of fashion -- although we have seen t-shirts declaring (presumed) agents to be "Female Body Inspectors" -- but this is fashionable?
She wore a black sweater, black spandex pants, large gold-rimmed glasses, and carried a large brown Luis Vuitton style handbag during the robbery. She had dark brown or black wavy hair and may have been wearing a hair weave.
Sounds like someone's Jewish grandma on South Beach.
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Plus, the photos are all wrong. The lighting is amateurish, there's no mystique, and the Louis Vitton "style" bag is not highlighted.
We'll be taking our future fashion advice from the Department of Homeland Security, thank you very much.
Oh, the suspect is further described as being "a black female, 28-29 years old, approximately 5'05"-5'6" tall, 130 pounds, with a dark complexion and a slender build," if you're interested in a reward
She entered the bank at about 4:30 p.m., waited on the teller line and then handed over a "threatening" note. She got some cash and left. No weapon was seen.