Father's Day is fast approaching, and you probably haven't given much thought to your gift. We know you.
To be sure, most fathers would gladly settle for Peace & Quiet once the kids are out of the weirdly-shaped homemade-paper-clip-holder stage, but most people feel obligated to get the old man something.
Which can lead to horrible mistakes. As a public service, here are five Father's Day gifts to avoid:
Nothing says "We love you, Dad" more than this, of course, but it can still make for some awkward moments. Extenze is really more of a Secret Santa thing, anyway.
Ladies, know this: No man has ever willingly gone into a Bed, Bath or a Beyond. Any such visit has been performed strictly under the category of Relationship Maintenance. So no gift cards. And no, Restoration Hardware doesn't count, either.
The one on the right, that is. That's GOP congressman Aaron Schock, who became an Internet sensation with this photo. As a result he tweeted that he had learned his lesson and had burned the belt, which in terms of solving the problem was the equivalent of BP plugging the oil spill. In all the web chatter, we didn't see anyone wondering the even bigger question: How is it possible that he's standing next to the lateBella Abzug
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4. Sex & the City boxed set
Unless he's a Carrie. In which case, you have bigger problems than gift-buying.
5. Sex Swing
Sure, it's a "Best Saler," but don't be fooled. This is really more of a Mother's Day gift.