I've long admired the FBI's wit when it came to criminal activity, particularly when it involved odd-looking or strangely dressed bank robbers. They've had fat guys and dudes in wigs and sunglasses. They always manage to twist it into something funny even if the crime is anything but.
Fact is, all too often, these guys -- and it's always dudes -- look hilarious. Case in point, this guy. He's wearing a camo shirt under that leather jacket with a skull cap that appears to be covering a head roughly the size of one of the tall aliens from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Either he is storing fruit under that thing for the winter, or has a bulbous dome or an incredible mane of hair that I'm going to guess is gray and insane looking.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Then there are those moderately hip eyeglass frames. It's like he is some weird combination of mad scientist, survivalist, Andy Warhol enthusiast and Doobie Brother.
But, whatever ensemble he chose for Wednesday morning, I have to believe he didn't think it could possibly be ideal for robbing a bank, which is what he allegedly did. At around 9:55 a.m., he walked in out of the cold to an Amegy Bank at 899 Frostwood Drive, handed a threatening note to the teller and walked out of the bank with some cash.
And, let's face it, when a dude that looks like this hands you a threatening note, you have got to take it seriously. For all you know, he could have come up with a mathematical equation in his tool shed that is either the world's first sustainable energy source or the chemical breakdown of Tostito's salsa con queso. Either way, you don't want to cross him.
It is assumed he is between 40 and 50 years old, 5'10" tall and 145 pounds. Crime Stoppers is offering up to $5,000 for information leading to his charging and arrest. If you have information about this crime, please call the Crime Stoppers Tip Line at 713-222-TIPS (8477) or the Houston office of the FBI at 713-693-5000.