Five Labor Day Myths (If You Live in Houston)

Honoring workers in Rick Perry's Texas? Ha.
Honoring workers in Rick Perry's Texas? Ha.

Face it, you're already starting to think about the long Labor Day weekend.

If you're from Houston, though, you won't exactly be experiencing it like much of the rest of the country does.

Labor Day traditions or truisms are largely a myth down here. Here are five examples.

5. Labor Day marks the end of summer
Oh, would that this was so. But the things that make Houston summers so darn enjoyable -- nearly inhuman heat and humidity, the ever-present threat of an apocalyptic hurricane -- are more or less with us for at least another month.

No need to put that sucker away
No need to put that sucker away

4. You don't wear white after Labor Day
Maybe if you suffer from Larchmont Lockjaw, use the word "summer" as a verb and not a description of something sadistically painful, or if you are at all familiar with the Hamptons. Unless you somehow aspire to be in that crowd or at least seem like you are, go ahead and keep wearing white. No one's going to look twice.

3. Back to school
Are you kidding? Houston students are close to getting their first progress reports of the year, and already can't remember a time when they could sleep in all week.

2. It's your last chance to barbecue
No, and not just as a matter of weather. It's a matter of every Texan's god-given right to char meat over an open flame 12 damn months a year.

1. It's a day to honor the workforce
In Rick Perry's Texas? Where any and all rights to take a negligent employer to court for maiming you have slowly but steadily eroded away? Where you can be fired for no reason and with no protections? Where all the new jobs being created in the "Texas Miracle" are minimum-wage?

Yeah, let's celebrate that.


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