Five Reasons It Sucks to Be Born Around Christmas

Yeah, yeah: Happy birthday to me.
Yeah, yeah: Happy birthday to me.

Birthdays are huge, huge deals to kids: They are the Star of the Day, they get lots of loot while other birthday-less kids can only look on in jealous despair.

Unless, of course, your birthday happens to fall right around Christmas. I have some personal experience with this, and let's just say it can take the air out of the event pretty effectively.

Five reasons it sucks to be born around Christmas:

5. Your presents: Other kids' gifts that can't be returned Gift FAIL occurs on Christmas but there's no receipt? Rewrap the sucker and give it to the sadsack with the December 27 birthday. A Ken doll's no different from a scuba-diving G.I. Joe, right?

4. No anticipation For every other kid, a birthday isn't just a one-day event; it's a weeklong build-up to Your Special Day, with other kids getting insanely jealous that you might get a great gift, and fevered discussion about what the best one will be. Born near Christmas? Shaddup, kid, everyone else is getting presents then too. Get in line.

3. The wrapping that says "I Love You" Nothing denotes more how much thought and love went into choosing and wrapping a gift than giving a kid a birthday present in Santa wrapping. Hey, it was on sale!

2. The ability to lord it over the other, gift-less kids Ah, the feeling of empowerment for a kid on his Big Day when he gets to decide who will play with a new gift, and which gift it will be. Try it on December 26 and you'll be talking to the back of every other kid who's rushing to get back to his new toys after he's had to not-so-patiently endure the unwrapping ceremony of yours.

1. The oh-so-close "hot" toy There's one toy you've made pretty clear is the one you want most, providing exact model name and other info. It is all but guaranteed that Dad will strategize that the thing will be wildly reduced in an after-Christmas sale; it's also all but guaranteed the one you want will be sold out and a close-but-no-cigar knock-off version will end up as your present.


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