Five Things We Learned From The Memorial High T-Shirt Fiasco
The t-shirt showed two Mustangs (Memorial's mascot) having sex with a Stratford cheerleader while high-fiving.
Luckily, current and former students from both schools responded in a way that did Texas proud, if by "proud" you mean "living up to every brain-dead caricature the nation has about Texas."
Five things we learned from the comments section, from e-mails and from conversations about the shirt:
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Louisville Cardinals College Football
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SWAC Football Championship
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1. The shirt included some witty wordplay. "Memorial Towers Over Stratford," it said. We subsequently discovered that two guys high-fiving each other, while one has oral sex with a woman while the other bangs her from behind, is called an 'Eiffel Tower."
We didn't know this because we've never touched another dude while having sex BECAUSE IT'S SO GAY. As the funny guys at Memorial would no doubt add, "not that there's anything wrong with that."
2. For Memorial, the medium of expression is raunchy t-shirts; for Stratford, it's vandalism. Many, many Memorial commenters pointed out that Stratford students had spray-painted MHS property or cars. We also heard a tale about leaving a dead horse on the MHS steps. But the horse was already dead before being moved, so that's OK, we were told. Football rivalries -- how hilarious can they get? (Note: MHS students would spell that "halarious," judging from the comments.)
3. It's not just national cliches these guys live up to; it's local cliches, too. Memorial is, in the local popular mind, the home of rich suburban kids driving new cars while keeping it real. So we were glad to see comments like:
And for all of yall who think we are spoiled kids thats ridiculous. yes some of the kids who go to my school are but most are not and i agree 100 percent with one of the previous comments.. telling us that we are rich is not an insult it is a compliment. our parents work had for their money they make. and sorry they aren't sitting on their asses like all of yall bitches that are blogging on some website.
Memorial represent!! Your maids and nannies, too!!
4. God bless the Houston Chronicle. They referred to Memorial's 20-6 win over Stratford as "a come-from-behind victory."
In their defense, at least they didn't say anything about how Stratford "could almost taste victory."
5. This has been going on a long time, and no doubt will continue. Knowing Memorial, the annual effort to print and sell t-shirts no doubt involves a formal corporation with Articles of Confederation filed with the secretary of state, an elected board of directors, and an annual leadership retreat at an exclusive resort. A little bad publicity isn't going to change that. In fact, next year's shirts will no doubt try to be even more offensive.
We're sure the Mustangs have what it takes to accomplish that.
P.S. Now that local TV is covering this, we really hope some hapless kids aren't made scapegoats. Some punishment, sure, but college-career-ending stuff? Not necessary. People make mistakes, and if there's genuine remorse....
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