Five WWE Title Matches That Were Bigger Travesties Than Deflate-Gate
Ring the damn bell!!
Well, now we know. Or we can guess, at least. Despite vehement denials from both to the contrary, it seems to be generally assumed by most of the sorts watching public that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady were both fully aware of, if not the impetus for, the deflation of the Patriots' game balls before the AFC Title Game last Sunday.
Belichick was his usual dismissive, stone cold, poker face as he let the questions bounce off of him like tennis balls against the garage. Brady was considerably more nervous
and far less comfortable lying to everyone about breaking the rules. Regardless, the two of them are the biggest teacher/student villain pairing right now since Emperor Palpatine ordered Anakin to murder all those children in Revenge of the Sith.
But honestly, specific to Sunday, what was really accomplished by deflating footballs that wouldn't have otherwise been accomplished within the rules? The Patriots won the game 45-7 over the Colts, and outscored Indy in the second half 28-0, when the balls were presumably re-inflated to regulation pressure.
Belichick and Brady may need more than just a few pounds of relieved air pressure to defeat the Seahawks. If I may, I'd like to point them to our friends in old school WWE (nee WWF) for a few ideas, and a few game changing cheating escapades that were far worse than Deflate-Gate....
Battle of the Piney Woods: SFA vs. SHSU
TicketsSat., Oct. 7, 1:00pm
Houston Texans vs. Kansas City Chiefs
TicketsSun., Oct. 8, 7:30pm
TicketsSat., Oct. 21, 7:00pm
Houston Texans vs. Indianapolis Colts
TicketsSun., Nov. 5, 12:00pm
Houston Texans vs. Arizona Cardinals
TicketsSun., Nov. 19, 12:00pm
5. The Soup Bone Screw Job Full disclosure: this is the match that made me fall in love with professional wrestling back in 1981. I was flipping around among the five channels available to us back in the pre-cable days, and I came across a crazy man with rubber bands hanging out of his face (Lou Albano), screaming like a maniac, guiding the career of two grown men who could only growl and bark. The soup bone they used to murder Tony Garea was the icing on the cake....
4. The Salt In The Eyes Screw Job Well, somehow Tony Garea and Ric Martel managed to regain the titles later in 1981, so Lou Albano did what he always did back in the day -- unearthed another heel tag team to throw at the babyface champions. This time, he went "all the way over to Japan" to pull the devious team of Mr. Fuji and Mr. Saito. (NOTE: In 80's WWF, all Asian wrestlers were considered "devious." Not profiling at all.) Well, I'm not sure if Belichick could find a way to pull off this one, but salt in the eyes has a success rate in the high 90 percent range....
(Two follow up items here: 1) You have to admire Lou Albano's commitment to the gimmick, rocking the bare feet and the Japanese headband and kimono, and 2) Martel, ironically, would have one of his most famous feuds with Jake Roberts ten years later, triggered when Martel blinded Roberts with his cologne (ARROGANCE!), resulting in a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VIII.)
3. The Crooked Referee Screw Job Maybe, just maybe, Belichick could find a way to get a referee in his back pocket and get him to have the whole crew turn their back while the Patriots are breaking the rules....
Of course, after this match, WWF President Jack Tunney suspended referee Danny Davis for life, which led to him becoming a mid card wrestler, and eventually reinstated as a referee three years later. Yes, somehow, the Danny Davis situation was handled more deftly than the Ray Rice situation.
2. The Evil Twin Referee Screw Job The next level version of getting a crooked referee on your side is to find a referee with an identical twin and pay him millions of dollars to cheat his ass off for you. That's what Ted DiBiase did in 1988, hiring Dave Hebner's brother Earl as his doppelgänger. Of course, Hulk Hogan thought they found some dude on the street and spent thousands on plastic surgery, but whatever...
1. The Montreal Screw Job Actual real life screw job....I could totally see Roger Goodell come down to the field and tell Ed Hochuli to "RING THE DAMN BELL!!!"....