It's National Boss Day, because apparently getting more weeks of vacation, a higher salary, and an actual office with privacy isn't enough. You can be forgiven if it slipped your mind. After all, you were probably busy using the phone in your cramped, depressing cubicle to argue semi-publicly with HR about whether you get 100% reimbursement for your carpal tunnel surgery. Seriously, though...is your boss really that bad? Or is he/she just misunderstood, like these oft-maligned movie managerial types?
5. Meredith Johnson (Demi Moore) -- Disclosure (1994)
The movie that dares ask the question: is it really sexual harassment if Demi Moore does it? Besides, what if Tom had actually given in? Meredith would've still charged him with harassment, leaving things to end up almost exactly the same. Well, Tom's marriage would've ended, but he didn't sound too pumped about that trip to Disneyland anyway.
4. Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) -- Wall Street (1987)
Jesus, Bud Fox is a crybaby. The little twerp approached Gekko in the first place because he wanted to be rich, and that's just what he got. What's that? You didn't realize you'd get your dad fired and ruin his company? Family is for the weak, Bud. I mean, do you think the guys in Goldman Sachs have any living relatives left?
3. John Milton (Al Pacino) -- Devil's Advocate (1997)
Okay, fine...he's Satan. But if you can get past that little hiccup, you'd realize the guy can literally give you anything your heart desires. Are there consequences? Of course there are, but you ignored all those emphysema PSAs and the fine print about balloon payments when you started smoking and leased that BMW, so why not go the extra mile?
2. Blake (Alec Baldwin) -- Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
"Always Be Closing." "Always Be Closing". The guy isn't just telling these pansies how to earn $970,000 a year and buy an $80K BMW, he's teaching them through acronyms, slyly strengthening their grammar skills while seemingly tearing them new assholes. That's some Jaime Escalante shit right there.
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1. Buddy Ackerman (Kevin Spacey) -- Swimming with Sharks (1994)
We need more Buddys, I tell you what. He'd be a bracing blast of reality for today's college graduates, who have relied on crutches like infant car seats and "participation ribbons" their whole lives. Hell, most of them would collapse into sobbing heaps of failure if you pointed out the difference between Extra and Sweet & Low to them.