Forget Blue-Eyed Butcher: Casting Lifetime Movies About Felicia Moon, Victoria Osteen & 3 Others
Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case.
It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact, there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five:
5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Felicia Moon Story The passion of a former NFL quarterback's ex-wife cannot be denied as she takes a trail ride into the rodeo. Under the starlit skies, she and her new beau score big -- until the cops come in and tarnish their love with charges of public sex. Starring Phylicia Rashad as Felicia Moon and Dennis Haysbert as the guy she was riding like a buckin' bronco..
4. Talk to the Hand: The Strange Loves of Michael Brown A Houston hand doctor puts women in jeopardy, uses them like Kleenex, does drugs and vacations in exotic locales (portrayed in the movie by San Diego suburbs). In other words, a story made for Lifetime. Starring Alan Rickman as Michael Brown and Sean Penn as Jeff Bagwell, the baseball hero dating Brown's wife.
3. For God's Sake: The Trial of Victoria Osteen When the wife of an extremely popular megachurch pastor can't get good service on her flight to Vail, an epic courtroom battle ensues. Starring Missi Pyle as Victoria Osteen, Jerry Seinfeld as Joel Osteen, Queen Latifah as the flight attendant who sued and William F. Buckley as Osteen attorney Rusty Hardin.
Production note: Buckley not only had to learn a Texas accent, he had to become undead, a feat rivaled only by DeNiro in Raging Bull. Also, the flight attendant's attorney can be played by only one man:
2. That's Not Cricket: The Rise & Fall of Allen Stanford Playboy financier Allen Stanford sees his luxurious world crumble around him when criminal charges are filed. Starring John Lithgow as Allen Stanford.
1. Red-Light District: Annise Parker's Courageous Fight to Get Ahead of Public Opinion When Houstonians revolted against red-light cameras, one mayor was there to stand up (and be dragged kicking and screaming into joining them). A story of political courage, of sorts. Starring Jane Lynch as Annise Parker and Joseph Gannascoli as anti-camera crusader Michael Kubosh.
Note: We have no idea what the head of red-light camera company American Traffic Solutions looks like, but he'll be played by:
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.