POLITICAL ANIMALS, SOCIAL DISTORTION
Friends of Rick
Perry follows Hitler's girlfriend, Bieber news.
By Richard Connelly
Governor Rick Perry is as modern as they come, what with the Twitter and the Web page and the secession and all.
So who's he following on Twitter? Well, according to the screenshot shown here, he likes to keep up with Eva Braun, Hitler's old galpal.
To be completely fair, he actually appears to be a lot more interested in following tween heartthrobs than dead Nazis.
Among the accounts Perry is following: @jooeejonass, @StayWithDemi_BU ("This acct is to help get @ddlovato (Demi) to tweet @dd_lovatoislove on her birthday!! Everyone sign the link above please and help spread the word!"), @demisel_rocks ("i am crazy fan of all disney celebs especially selena demi jonas and taylor swift they are my lyf."), @agusjazzybieber, @notddlovato (In case you thought it was the real Demi Lovato, we guess), @ jbieberluv823, @ElifJBieber, @mamzelbieber and, of course, @Beebs_Angel.
Obviously, if you choose to follow Perry he'll follow you. But FWIW, as they say in Twitterland, TX$BillWhite seems to be a relatively tween-free zone.
Keep that in mind come election day, Bieber-lovers.
By the way, one of the commenters translated Eva Braun's Tweet: "Have flatulence. Must have eaten fatty Polish sausage soup. Führer shooting for 4 hours 45 minutes. From now on will retaliate fart for fart."
SPACED CITY, POLITICAL ANIMALS
Heights Walmart Getting Tax Incentives?
By Christopher Patronella Jr.
The City of Houston is in negotiations to offer tax incentives to the developer of the controversial proposed Heights-area, Walmart, the mayor's office told Hair Balls.
"The city is not negotiating with [Walmart]," the mayor's office said in a prepared statement to us. "However, there are ongoing conversations with the developer regarding a 380 Agreement, which allows for the dedication of future tax revenues from a qualifying project to be used as reimbursement to the developer for necessary infrastructure improvements. 380 agreements are authorized under state law and have been used previously by the city. This is still not a done deal."
The 380 agreements, as established by the Texas Local Government Code, authorize cities to refund a portion of projected sales-tax income over a period of time.
From Jan 1, 2000, to May 21, 2008, according to the City of Austin's peer city comparison of economic development agreements, Houston has among the lowest number of such agreements with 11, next to Austin with 7. San Antonio is next in line with 43 and Dallas and Fort Worth with a combined 85.
City spokeswoman Janice Evans told Hair Balls that the city generally considers projects that are at least $25 million, require substantial new public infrastructure and create a measurable number of new jobs, for the 380 agreements.
"The major project that I can point you to that utilized these same concepts is the planned redevelopment of the former Allen House site. That project will eventually be a $750 million investment," she said.
Walmart critics were not happy.
"I think that's unacceptable, and I think that anybody in the movement to oppose Walmart on this site would find so too," Anne Baumgardner said.
Long Night on the Bowl
By Richard Connelly
Housrou Kedji's got 85 problems, but a bitch ain't one. Except for the bitch of shitting out 85 cocaine-filled condoms while law enforcement agents watched.
Kedji was acting very, very nervous as he boarded a plane at Bush Intercontinental June 29, according to court documents. "His heart was racing, his hands were shaking and he relayed conflicting stories about his whereabouts and activities in Houston," the criminal complaint says. (How they knew his heart was racing, it doesn't say.)
Kedji initially denied having swallowed any narcotics, but eventually admitted it. The ICE officials x-rayed him, took him to the bathroom and whoever drew the short straw stayed with him from 5:27 a.m. until 10:30 a.m.
"Kedji began expelling pellets," is the euphemism ICE uses; the first pellet tested positive for coke, and Kedji "continued expelling similar sized and shaped pellets until approximately 10:31 a.m., on July 21, when his x-ray was clear of pellets."
Kedji had told officers he had swallowed "about 80" condoms, so the five must have been a little lagniappe. Or maybe you lose count.
The crap-stained haul eventually amounted to about one kilogram of the drug, which was headed for Europe on an Air France flight.
DOING IT DAILY
There is a ton of new stuff each day on the Houston Press blogs; you're only getting a taste of it here in the print edition. Head to http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs (or "/rocks" or "/eating") and under "Tools" on the top-right side of the page, use the "categories" drop-down menu to find these stories:
We posted pictures of the Estate Sale of the Century, a Rice Village house jam-packed with collectibles, tons of vinyl albums, knicknacks of every sort and all the detritus the most dedicated pack rat could accumulate. We also brought you the most epic pest-control ad of all time and talked to the Pawn Stars of Houston.
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We managed to piss off a whole bunch of Manchester United fans, but they got the last laugh when the team beat the MLS All-Stars easily. We followed the Roy Oswalt trade saga, gave free advice to Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming, and reveled in the dismantling of Chris Bosh's reputation.
The mayor of Jasper was arrested for being shirtless and drunk at the town's Sonic, which is pretty much what you'd expect out of that Piney Woods town. The ACLU of Texas filed suit against officials along the border, who they say are sending kids to "debtor's prison" for truancy.