Game Time: Road Trip Edition
At some point, there is an age you reach where climbing into an SUV with three of your buddies to drive a ridiculous distance to a backwater town to watch football, drink beer, fart, and pretend you're 22 again becomes old. I don't know what age that is, I just know I haven't reached it yet.
Last night would have been a good litmus test for that as myself, Raheel Ramzanali, and David Nuno climbed into the 1560 The Game Mobile for a seven-hour drive to Norman, Oklahoma for the clash of 5-4 titans this weekend -- the Aggies of Texas A&M versus the Oklahoma Sooners.
For those wondering, this is a trip that is a combo business-pleasure event, as we will be broadcasting our shows on Friday afternoon (Nuno from 1-3 p.m., me and John Harris from 3-7 p.m.) live from Norman (Tune in at 1560thegame.com!).
Also, for those who don't know Raheel or Nuno, my best thumbnail sketch on each:
RAHEEL RAMZANALI: 24 years old....UT grad....single.....American citizen since 2008 (way to go, Raheezy!)....best known for his man-crush on Kobe Bryant, his ability to get members of the Houston Texans to sing during interviews, and his willingness to engage in anything ridiculous or disgusting for as little as a free meal
DAVID NUNO: Early 30's....A&M grad....married....father of two (17-month-old twin boys)....sharp dresser.....best known for having a great radio voice, a short fuse, and being the biggest germophobe in Harris County
There are two particularly interesting tidbits when it comes to the "business" side of the trip:
1. Our broadcasts will be emanating from JR's Family Bar-B-Q, which is owned by WWE Hall of Fame broadcaster (and great friend of the "Sean & John Show") Jim Ross. Jim is an OU Sooner through and through, as you've probably seen him on the sidelines before in his trademark black cowboy hat. For wrestling fans, his voice is the most recognizable in the business. Me, I'm a huge wrestling fan, so getting to knock a few back with "Good Ol' JR" is something I'd have probably (easily) bid four figures on if it were on eBay.
2. Our most significant piece of luggage on the trip is the actual trophy which will go to the Rotary Lombardi Award winner this season for the top lineman in college football (seen here with John Harris about to engage the trophy in actual foreplay). Our show is the broadcast partner for the award this year and those in charge thought it would be fun for us to bring it to Norman so people could get their picture taken with it.
Odds that the trophy makes it home in one piece? Well, let's just say we've already started making plans on constructing a new trophy.
So with our destination understood and our mission clear, Nuno, Raheel and I embarked at 7:30 last night on the seven-hour drive to Sooner Haven. (Harris is actually flying in on Friday morning, something about family obligations, which I contend is code for "I don't want to sit next to Raheel for seven hours." Raheel, so you know, I think you're a fine fella.)
Now, anyone who's been on a road trip such as this (and let's be real -- if you're a male over the age of 18 and you haven't, you stopped reading this post at the word "fart") knows that when you get multiple dudes in a car for a significant amount of time the conversation goes in one of three directions -- women, sports arguments, and ridiculous Fear Factor-type "would ya?" banter.
The women stories have a "what happens in the 1560 Mobile stays in the 1560 Mobile" status attached to them; they will not be discussed here. As for the other conversation topics, the most heated sports discussion was between Raheel and me regarding "Chris Bosh vs Pau Gasol: Who would you take?" (We finally came to the conclusion that Bosh would be the no-brainer for the Rockets because of his physicality, but in general neither can carry a team to a 50-win season. They need to be Banana 1-A.)
Admittedly, it's the third category of conversation that generates the most memorable banter. I posed the question to Raheel and Nuno, "What degree of injury would you sustain yourself for your favorite player/best player on your favorite team to not sustain the same injury in season?" I think this question is always a great test of a fan's true loyalty to their team. Basically, how much pain would you endure for your guys?
Not surprisingly, Raheel said he would suffer a ruptured testicle for Colt McCoy to stay healthy the rest of the season. Also, not suprisingly, Nuno wouldn't suffer so much as a hangnail for any athlete walking the earth. The biggest surprise to me came from Raheel who said the most pain he would endure for Kobe Bryant would be a skinned knee. This shocked me because I seem to remember Raheel being smitten meeting Kobe for the first time last year at Toyota Center. (Seriously, I think he handed him a mix tape.)
For those keeping score, I said I would suffer a season long bout with hemorhhoids for Jimmy Clausen to stay in school after this season and lead Notre Dame to a national championship in 2010.
I tweeted this question while we were discussing and got a few beauties back from my followers:
As you can see, the game degenerated into less of "what legit sports injury would you sustain?" and more of "what level of self-mutilation would you undergo?" (and waaaay too many people willing to mutilate their testicles). Either way, it kills an hour easily on long trips. Highly recommend.
At one point, we started playing everyone's favorite game "How much would someone have to pay you to [fill in name of vomit-inducing act here]?" The best one was probably "How much would someone have to pay you to shower for ten minutes at a truck stop?" (For the record, we agreed that there would be hot water and the stalls would be private.) My response: "$600." Raheel's response: "A new PS-3." Nuno's response: "Would I have slippers?" After five minutes insisting to Nuno that he would not be the beneficiary of footwear, he sheepishly replied "12 grand." Sounds about right.
After making all of the requisite "fudge" and "jerky" jokes, Raheel, Nuno, and I sauntered in and proceeded to buy the most eclectic mix of products you've ever seen. My bag included Cookies N Cream fudge, elk jerky, Wisconsin smoked cheddar cheese chunks, and a diet Dr. Pepper. Only in Centerville, baby!!
The night was finally capped off about 15 miles outside of Norman with me behind the wheel when we got pulled over when I apparently made an improper lane change. Whatever, it may or may not have been an improper lane change, at that point I had been asleep for a solid 20 minutes (kidding!). The officer asked where were on our way to, and I told him "to do a broadcast in Norman tomorrow". Since the SUV we were riding in had 1560 painted onto it in roughly 200 places, I think he bought the story. I was lucky enough to get off with a written warning, and we were all thankful that Raheel was not the one driving because at 2 in the morning we were not in the mood for full body cavity searches. Indeed, the result we got, we all agreed would have only occurred in Oklahoma with a "Sean" behind the wheel, not a "Raheel" or "Nuno." Just sayin'.
So now it's Friday morning. I'm off to go pick up John Harris at the airport and it's time for a celebration of college football to begin. Will the Lombardi Award remain in one piece? Will John Harris ask Barry Switzer to adopt him? Will we scrape up the 12 grand to see if Nuno is for real about his truck-stop shower promise? Tune back in on Monday!!
THIS WEEKEND'S BEST BETS
It's becoming obvious quickly that two weeks into this gig, you can all become millionaires if you just do the opposite of what I recommend on the college level. I have yet to give you a collegiate winner. So take note!
A glance back at last week:
LSU +7.5 at Alabama (Bama 25-16, LOSER!)
A&M -3 at Colorado (Colorado 35-34, LOSER...thanks Aggies.)
Houston -1 at Tulsa (Coogs 46-45, MIRACLE PUSH!)
Falcons -10 vs Redskins (Falcons, 31-17, WIN!)
Texans +8.5 at colts (Colts 20-17, WINNER!)
Dolphins +10.5 at Patriots (Pats 27-17, WINNER!)
Record Last Week: 3-2-1
Record on Hair Balls: 5-6-1
Here's a nice little six pack for you for this weekend:
USC -10.5 vs Stanford
Texas -23.5 at Baylor
Utah +20 vs TCU
Detroit +16.5 at Minnesota
San Diego -1 vs Philadelphia
KC/Oakland under 37
Good luck on that ace!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Empower Texans' Ken Paxton Conspiracy Theory Involves Republican Infighting and...
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 2:30pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 6:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:00pm
- Here Come The Astros, Breathing Orange Fire!
- Federal Judge Vacates Tom Brady's 4 Game Suspension For Deflate-Gate