Game Time: Vince Young -- All He Does Is Win, Strip-Club Fistfight Edition
Okay, I give up. The topic of college football conference realignment has dominated the airwaves/Twitter/blog chatter the past two weeks, all the while the NBA Finals and now the 2010 World Cup whirring judiciously in the background.
College football has taken a couple runs at realignment to try and knock it a few bullet points down on the "Headlines" menu of "fill in name of sports company here".com. First, there was Oregon's once-upon-a-time Heisman candidate quarterback Jeremiah Masoli chasing his suspension for theft with an expulsion for marijuana possession -- realignment squashed that like a mosquito at a company picnic.
Next, the NCAA chose last week to hand down sanctions on one of the most storied programs in college football history. Sorry, USC, it's gonna take more than some lost schollies and assclownery from your athletics director to take down college realignment.
And then Vince Young happened...
If the football gods (at least the ones who oversee the state of Texas and the city of Houston) were going to draw up a story that would finally take the publicity title from college conference realignment, even if just for a day, it would be "Vince Young throws down on a dude...at a strip club...in Dallas...and (wait for it, wait for it) ...the tipping point was said dude dropped a 'Horns down' hand signal on Vince!"
You can't make that up.
I have roughly a thousand thoughts on what transpired in Dallas, however, in honor of Wonderlic testing, I'll keep it to these SIX:
1. The tentacles of realignment even wrap themselves around this story -- in a week where we've been told multiple times that Texas has no desire to go to the SEC because of concerns over academics at the various SEC schools, the most recognizable UT football player from the last decade is on film displaying evidence that it's no guarantee that those credit hours translate into common sense.
2. With that in mind, there's no way Vince comes out of this unscathed by The Goodfather, right? (The Goodfather is my new nickname for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell after he dropped six games of suspension on Ben Roethlisberger and there was not a peep from anyone in the NFL Players Association) I mean, a guy who went AWOL on his team, less than two years ago, gets into a fight (appearing to throw the first punch, to boot) in a Dallas STRIP CLUB? All that's missing is VY in a t-shirt that says "I BANGED ROGER GOODELL'S WIFE". I'm saying one-game suspension just for being in this idiotic position, if nothing
3. Which brings me to my next point...Vince Young is a multimillionaire and a demigod in the state of Texas. He could walk into any upscale bar in the metroplex and hand pick a woman who hasn't been tossed around by drunk frat boys in a VIP room all night and probably convince her to be just as freaky. Why are you in some pit dropping $10 on lappers? I'll never understand this.
4. On the bright side, VY Fan, it did look like Vince was well on his way to finishing what he started on the surveillance video, so your hero is still undefeated against the universe, as far as you know.
5. So Reggie Bush singlehandedly crippled USC football last week...Vince Young got into a brawl in a strip club...what's Mario Williams up to?
6. For whatever reason, John Harris and I have been told by no shortage of Longhorn fans and UT alum that we "hate the Longhorns," despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. Our contention, after assessing the relative lack of proof to back up Horn Fan's assertions, is that UT fans might be a little bit thin skinned. I have to say that if this brawl was touched off basically because some shlub dropped a "Horns down" on Vince, I feel vindicated.
The irony in all of this is college football realignment still dominated as a topic this morning. Maybe VY can be defeated...
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from 3-7 p.m. weekdays on the
"Sean & John Show" and follow him on Twitter at http://Twitter.com/seancablinasian .
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.