Okay, I'll admit that might have been the most duplicitous headline of a post ever, not because Sarah Palin and Glen Rice didn't sleep together (They apparently did, back in the late '80's. More on that in a minute) but because the "w/ VIDEO" would seem to imply that I've posted footage of some sort of amateur sex tape that went along with it.
Actually, the video I've posted is from Palin's fledgling broadcasting career 23 years ago (And if you haven't seen it, there's never a bad reason to post that fiasco), but that doesn't mean that we can't nor shouldn't discuss the Rice and Palin dalliance from back in the late 1980s.
In case you missed it, there's a new, tell-all Palin biography coming out soon, and in the book (in addition to stories of cocaine snorting and lusty affairs from the eventual Vice Presidential candidate), we got this doozy (from the New York Daily News):
A Palin biography by Joe McGinniss claims that the former Vice Presidential hopeful had a one-night stand back in 1987 with Rice, a then-University of Michigan star, who was playing in the Great Alaska Shootout. Palin, working as a television sports reporter at the time, was described by a friend as the aggressor, who told McGinniss "she hauled his ass down," the National Enquirer reported.
To my knowledge, we haven't heard from either party confirming nor denying it, and frankly I don't even really care. If Palin was a twentysomething local television personality snorting some lines and hitting on college kids back in 1987, then so be it. Who didn't back in 1987?! Crazy times, those '80's! (Side bar: I love how cocaine use in the '80's has evolved into something that is practically written off now as "everyone was doing it." Um, okay.)
If we want confirmation that this tryst went down, all we need to do is go to some old YouTube footage of Palin's (then under her maiden name of Sarah Heath) sportscasting career in Alaska and the proof is right there. You'll see....
Okay, here are my favorite parts of this video, in chronological order, and when I get to the proof for the Palin-Rice Shootout '87, I'll point it out:
1. The male news anchor on the right has a haircut and a mustache that if he wore both today, he'd probably be driving an ice cream truck. (Not one of those corporate Good Humor trucks, I'm talking like the white van with no windows and some faded stickers of Bomb Pops on the side of the truck that actually make parents tell their kids to get inside the house NOW.) Sadly, in 1988, this style was considered normal.
2. Ditto Palin's leaning tower of hair. In 2011, that hair style is a punch line on The Office (Remember Phyllis taking Karen to get an '80's makeover before visiting a client whose wife rocked that 'do?). In 1988? Normal. Hell, kinda hot even.
3. For those who espouse the point of view that Alaska really isn't part of the United States, this sportscast leading off with Iditarod coverage should be Exhibit A in their defense.
4. RICE-PALIN PROOF RIGHT HERE: So now that the Iditarod lead has firmly established we are watching an Alaska newscast, we move onto the next story. Keep in mind, this is ALASKA we are talking about, so story number two, after dogs dragging sleds through miles of arctic tundra, should be what? Hockey? Curling? Ice sculpting? Ice fishing? Nope...BIG TEN BASKETBALL! Specifically, Purdue versus Michigan...and star sophomore GLEN RICE! Sorry, but a Michigan basketball game getting the two-spot on a sports newscast in Alaska ahead of hockey is about as random as a story about noodling winding up on the Longhorn Network ahead of a story about Mack Brown. In short, Palin can't quit Glen Rice.
5. At the 0:53 mark..."Purdue is killin' Michigan early on." Killin'. Great word.
6. At the 1:10 mark, Todd Mitchell of Purdue got fouled halfheartedly on a layup by, of all people, GLEN RICE! This newscast would have been a much better retrospective if there had been traces of jilted bitterness from Palin for Rice not ever calling back after the one-night stand. "Todd Mitchell rebounds and just look at that lazy defense by Michigan's Glen Rice...isn't that just like a MAN to not give a shit about anyone or anything!!!"
7. Wow, Glen Rice really doesn't try on defense. That is noticeable. You can see where Palin would have to "haul his ass down" just to get his attention.
8. At the 2:08 mark, Palin transitions from college basketball and NBA scores into NHL hockey and goes on a random diatribe about how utterly shitty the Minnesota North Stars were at that time that leads me to believe she may have also boinked Basil McRae at some point, if not the entire North Stars team. Hell hath no fury like a Palin scorned!
9. 2:38 mark, Hartford Whalers sighting!! R.I.P. Whale.
10. 2:48, Winnipeg is "killin'" Toronto. Killin'. Still love that.
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11. At 3:01, the words "Seawolves" and "Nanooks" are on the screen at the same time, and they are names of teams. In a state that is part of the same country I live in. Really?
12. Awkward ending of the newscast, where the news anchors look for a prediction on the Big East final from Palin and she says, "Well, they're gonna play anyway," to which sex offender-looking male anchor sneers, "Don't go out on a limb there, Sarah."
Little did the anchor know, Sarah was not a fan of the Big East. She was a fan of the Big Ten. Specifically, she was a fan of Big Glen.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from noon to 3PM weekdays and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.