Who knew the wheat fields of the Panhandle were so rife with lust and passion? Call this story 50 Sheaves of Wheat.
Per Connectamarillo.com, Ochiltree County sheriff Terry Bouchard said that 61-year-old Glendon Bruening was enraged when he found out that a fellow reaper had been texting lewd images to his wife.
As you can see by his picture, Bruening looks like the last guy you'd expect to take that kind of guff from anybody.
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And so on Saturday, amid the tall stalks of a wheat field north of Perryton, the self-proclaimed "Wheatheart of the Nation," the Biblically bearded Bruening laid aside bringing in the sheaves long enough to pick up a hoe and allegedly whack his rival repeatedly with the handle.
Apparently the hoe-bashing didn't achieve the desired outcome, so Bruening next snatched up his shotgun and fired it at the horny harvester's shoulder. Fortunately for the sexter, Bruening had previously removed the pellets from the shell, so all that erupted from Bruening's barrel was his wad. (On a side note, who knew that a news outlet in a place like Amarillo would dare report it that way? Our hats are off to you, Travis Ruiz of Connectamarillo.com.)
Bruening was arrested, taken to Ochiltree County Jail and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a second-degree felony. He is currently free on $50,000 bond.