Happy Gary Kubiak Picture Is a Great Way to Start Your Day
Nobody likes getting fired, and certainly when people wind up failing at their job, they internalize it in any number of different ways.
For example, when current Lakers head coach Mike D'Antoni was fired as the head coach of the New York Knicks a few years ago, reports surfaced that he was not adjusting well at all to unemployment. Rumors were that D'Antoni wouldn't leave his house, that he would just sit around in his robe ordering pizzas all day long.
The mental image that I got of D'Antoni at that time (and have chosen to keep to this day) was something like Ned Flanders meets bankrupt Navin Johnson. Who knows, maybe D'Antoni will do better during his next go-round with unemployment (which is probably only about four or five months away).
Now, in Houston, we have our own former head coach dealing with the recentness of being fired. Poor Gary Kubiak. It's been almost two weeks now, and you're probably wondering how Kubes is doing.
Well, imagine the image I just painted of D'Antoni -- scraggly facial growth, bathrobe, black socks in flip-flops, half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand, remote control in the other, a rancid combo of cigarette smoke and BO, pizza boxes strewn about the room, and lots of drunken sobbing.
Now imagine the exact opposite of that image (except for the scraggly facial growth) and you've got Gary Kubiak!
HAPPY Gary Kubiak!
Indeed, based on this picture that surfaced on the Internet yesterday courtesy of my buddy Adam Rapp at the Gessner location of The Ragin Cajun, it appears that paid unemployment might be the only thing that Gary Kubiak loves more than Matt Schaub. Look at the smile on that man's face! You want to see what it looks like to have the weight of the world lifted off someone's shoulders, take a look at that picture.
Now, without actual video of this moment and without actual conversation with Kubiak, we have no idea exactly what words are behind this smile, but I think I can come up with a few choices:
a) Hey Wade, I'm getting paid to sit around for three hours and eat jambalaya; what are y'all up to?
b) So 14 penalties again this week...whose fault was this mess again?
c) Oh, by the way....putting guys in "time out," Wade? For real?
d) Giddyup, Marciano's bringin' the car around!
e) Hey Schaubby, I picked six appetizers in your honor....get it? Picked....six....good one, huh?
f) I am so happy....like "actually got a replay challenge correct" happy!
g) I just ate enough for three Randy Bullocks!
h) Hey Shanahan, I'm getting paid to sit around for three hours and eat jambalaya; what are y'all up to?
i) Soooooo nice to not have to make Weeks test my food for poison before I eat anymore.
j) I am so happy....like "DeAndre Hopkins Instagram account" happy!
k) Teddy Bridgewater or Johnny Manziel? Um, let's see, I'll take....JAMBALAYA!
l) All of the above
Of course, much like Kubiak's facial hair, the picture has taken on a life of its own, turning into a humorous meme that's helped distract all of us from the reality of a 2-12 football team....
Of course, this one is a little mean...
So there you go; in case you were wondering, Gary Kubiak seems to be adjusting to life without the Texans just fine. Apparently, despondence over being terminated is nothing that can't be cured by a fried shrimp platter and some bread pudding.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
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