Have a KKK Memorial Day
If your white-power group is having trouble finding cool Memorial Day rallies where you can wave the stars 'n stripes 'n swastikas, then we suggest you check out reputable racist-friendly Web site Stormfront.org for cool holiday ideas. We especially recommend that any Texas KKK chapters (or "klaverns," as they're technically known) join the Virginia-based Knights of the Southern Cross Soldiers of the Ku Klux Klan's rally near Arlington National Cemetery.
Imperial Wizard Brother Dennis is asking all his sheet-wearing brethren to bring their state flags and wave them in honor of soldiers who sacrificed their lives for this country, especially the soldiers who sacrificed for that other country, the Confederate States of America. (The Wiz points out that he, unlike the "foreign born" Obama, is a veteran, and the oath he swore then means just as much to him as the oath he took when he earned the official right to poke holes in a pillowcase and slip it over his head.)
The rally will include musical entertainment by someone/thing called Orion, as well as what will surely be a heartfelt cross-lighting ceremony at dusk. But remember, it's "family friendly. No alcohol, no drugs!!" (No pets, either). If you hurry, you can still probably get there in time. And feel free to stay there as long as you want!
But in addition to no drugs and alcohol, here are some other rules:
Battle of the Piney Woods: SFA vs. SHSU
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 3:00pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTSA Roadrunners Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 6:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
DO stop the liberal agenda DON'T apologize for being white DO stand up for your Second Amendment rights DON'T stand by while the Fool-in-Chief and his racist wife destroy the country DO go to work every day DON'T sit on your welfare ass and breed for the sole purpose of having the rest of America support you
Follow those rules, and it's sure to be one KLAN-tastic Memorial Day!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.