Here's How To Get Texas Lottery Sales Humming Again
State officials say that Texas Lottery sales areslumping
because the games are "boring."
We couldn't agree more.
If you possess the kind of sharp, brilliant, mathematically sophisticated mind that says "I'm buyin' lottery tickets!!", then you will quickly grow bored with the same-old, same-old.
No one wants to see the lottery lose sales, except maybe the people in convenience-store lines waiting not-so-patiently while some loser spends ten minutes figuring out which games he wants to toss away his money on.
So we have our own ideas for new lottery games that are guaran-damn-teed to sell like hotcakes:
5. Just in time for the Red River Shootout, it's the joy of college football.
4. Here's an Ike-related one.
3. And here's another Ike-related one.
2. Celebrities sell, so this one should be gold.
1. There has to be something good to come out of this Texans' season.
-- Richard Connelly
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.
- Charges Filed Against Mom, Boyfriend Who Found Baby Burned in Oven
Fri., Nov. 27, 7:00pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 2:30pm
Sat., Nov. 28, 7:00pm
Sun., Nov. 29, 12:00pm
- Abbott Says Guns Are Okay in Texas City Halls
- Johnny Football Is Back, Clubbing in Austin on His Bye Week