HISD's Ryan Middle School: Boys Will Be Wearing Ties. Possibly Deadly, Silly Ties

Staffers from Ryan Middle School are fanning throughout the Third Ward today with fliers explaining the school's new dress code.

The new dress code includes ties for boys.

Ties for middle school boys. From personal Catholic-school experience, two problems jump to mind.

1. What middle-school kid knows how to tie a tie?

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2. Ties are excellent things to grab onto and use in a fight.

That's why cops wear clip-ons if their uniform requires a tie.

3. If not used in an actual fight, some kids find it amusing to pull on some enemy's tie as they pass in the hallway and no one's around to see it.

So why is HISD arming testosterone-filled middle schoolers with weapons? And are they making them learn how to do an elegant Windsor or four-in-hand?

Why persecute kids so?

Not to fear: an HISD spokeswoman informs us that the ties, which are being donated, are clip-ons.

Which means, of course, that Ryan students won't exactly be the epitome of style, but at least they'll be safe and will not, for a while at least, learn the silly task of tying a dress tie.

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