Houston Is Somehow A "Salad City," Highly Scientific Survey Says

Is your mind still boggled at the thought that Bush Intercontinental is a terrific airport? Be prepared to have be re-boggled.

The scientists at Dole Foods, or at least the people who put together pseudo-scientific surveys, have declared Houston to be one of the best "Salad Cities" in the nation.

Houston, perennially a contended for Fattest City, is healthy when it comes to eating?

"[R]esidents of Houston eat more salad per person that the national average -- or are more likely to consume more salad, experiment with salad in the kitchen, try new salad blends or choose a salad as the basis for a meal in the future," Dole's release said. "The 18-month internal research was conducted by Dole during the company's reinvention of its 32-blend DOLE Salads line."

What? This was done in conjunction with a new-product rollout? Who'da thunk it?

We can come up with a couple of reasons why Dole found Houston to be a "Salad City."

1. The Salad Sisters. Briefly famous 15 or 20 years ago when perennial offended person Geneva Kirk Brooks raised a stink over their employment at an HL&P party. Newspapers gingerly described them as dancers who found different ways to use fruit in their act, leaving far, far too much to the imagination.

2. The Space City Salad. We've never seen or heard of this, but we figure this has to exist. It consists of a dozen deep-fried, hickory-sauce chicken wings, some extra-mayo potato salad, a Triple Whopper and cream gravy, all served on a bed of a small piece of lettuce.

3. Anything with lettuce is defined as a salad. See the aforementioned Triple Whopper and add a Big Mac or three.

4. When Dole says Houstonians like to "experiment with salad in the kitchen," you don't want to know what they mean. See Sisters, Salad, grapes flying across the room..

5. Dole doesn't know what it's talking about. This just might be the explanation we end up going with.


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