Houston may be fat, polluted, sprawling and ugly, but it's got one thing going for it, according to Forbes magazine -- it's one of the safest cities in the country.
Say what? Don't they read our Bayou Body Count? What, you go ten days without a murder and all of a sudden you're Eden?
Apparently, the designation doesn't have anything to do with odd recent spurt of non-murderousness.
Forbes looked at violent crime (see above), workplace deaths (refineries are so safe), traffic death rates (well, hard to die when you're not moving in a jam) and "natural disaster risk" (Bingo!!!).
The magazine added all these factors up and determined -- somehow -- that Houston is the 38th-safest city in America. Which, ummm, may not be as great as it sounds.
Not quite as safe as Nashville or Indianapolis, but safer than Miami or Jacksonville.
Then again, the study only looked at the 40 largest metropolitan areas in the country, so you could say we are one of the un-safest cities. But that wouldn't be a Houston Proud way of looking at things.
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We made the Top 40 list, dammit!! That's what counts!!
The three safest big cities in America?
Minneapolis-St.Paul, Milwaukee and Portland. We guess the lack of a hurricane risk, much less the Fifth Ward, is a key to doing well on this thing.
Dallas-Fort Worth, by the way, came in 15th. Make of that what you will.