Houston, The City Where Workers Date The Boss
Is your boss hanging around at the moment? (Maybe monitoring non-work-related internet use?)
Look at him or her closely. You are looking at a sex machine designed to satisfy the sexual urges of everyone in the cubicle farm he or she supervises.
It must be exhausting work, but no one ever said being a boss was easy. (Well, actually, lots of disgruntled workers have said it, but let's forget all that.)
The website called PayScale normally deals with salary surveys and reports, but it's decided to have some fun with a (somewhat non-)scientific survey about office sex.
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. UCF Knights Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. Florida Atlantic University Owls Football
TicketsSat., Nov. 5, 2:30pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulane University Football
TicketsSat., Nov. 12, 11:00am
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Louisville Cardinals College Football
TicketsThu., Nov. 17, 7:00pm
It surveyed office workers and found that Austin is the city where pens are most likely to be dipped in the company ink.
Orlando was second and Miami third (yay, Florida?) and coming in at 10th....Houston!!
The Bayou City, however, does not show up on the list of cities where employees are "Most Likely to Be on the Prowl," so we guess the bosses do all the work setting up the illicit rendezvous.
Maybe it involves picking names from a jar to see whose taking that magical trip to a motel on South Main, or maybe the boss just approaches the cubicle like in Office Space:
"Yeah, I'm gonna need you to have hot monkey sex with me Saturday, so if you can be her with some KY about 9:30, that'd be great."
The profession most likely to engage in office hanky, not to mention panky: "Lodging Managers." We guess the availability of empty rooms makes a tryst so easy it's impossible to resist.
Second place is "Cost Estimators," which probably says more about the survey than about cost estimators, whatever they are.
Anyway, be careful what you say to your boss today and from now on. You don't want to give out the wrong message.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.