Houston, You Are One Hell Of A Tax-Procrastinating City
If you're in Houston, we have a pretty good idea what you're doing -- anything but preparing your tax returns.
Turbo Tax has put out a survey of the 10 Biggest Tax-Procrastinating Cities, and Houston proudly leads the list after coming in a measly second last year.
Turbo Tax V-P Bob Meighan offered the Wall Street Journal an astute analysis of things:
Another factor that Mr. Meighan says can impact when people filing: weather. Natural disasters can delay returns for cities.
As for Houston being number one this year, "I have no idea," says Mr. Meighan.
We, on the other hand, have some ideas.
1. Rick Perry is going to secede from the country anyway.
What is the U.S. gonna do, try and come after us for not paying 2009? With Rick "Border security" Perry in the governor's mansion? Lotsa luck with that, Amerika. Oh, and we might need to borrow a few helicopters and such until we get our state Army up on its feet.
2. We don't want to pay taxes to a country that votes all our people off American Idol.
It's just kinda taken away all our enthusiasm. You don't appreciate Lacey Brown? Fine. We don't appreciate funding your so-called National Endowment for the "Arts."
3. We've contracted an all-consuming case of Longhorn Basketball Fever!!
Um, well, scratch that. Baylor Bear Fever?
4. The forms are just soooo complicated.
Hey, we live in Texas -- we're not used to this "income tax" thing. You want to charge us property taxes, we'll be faster than anyone else....at protesting them through a formal, obtuse, arbitrary process.
5. We'll get to it eventually, man.
It's an attitude that has helped us Texans deal semi-successfully with air pollution, aid to sick children, education that isn't a laughingstock, and having the Cowboys or Texans win anything in the 21st Century.