I Wanna Be Your Dog (Or Cat): 5-7-5 And Gift Certificates!
Whenever there's a seasonal change (or what passes for a seasonal change in Houston) Hair Balls tends to get a bit wistful. With the holidays approaching and the weather cooling a bit this week, we couldn't help but turn inward and examine our own soul, even as we try to help the animals at the Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care.
Fortunately, our meditative sojourn only lasted about five minutes, because we stumbled upon a freakin' Who's the Boss? marathonon cable, sidled up next to a case of Lone Star and thought about how, from certain angles, Angela looked almost feminine.
However, during commercials, we kept up somewhat with this pensiveness and thumbed through our well-worn copy of collected haikus by the epic poet Basho Matsuo, known affectionately in his time as Matsuo Ball. It made us want to write a few haikus of our own. And guess what -- it's not as easy as Basho made it look...
Stray fox terrier
With low positive heartworm
Don't be a jerk, though
Cute lab retriever
Owner surrender -- "too big"
Biggest douche ever
Red pit -- heart-shaped nose
Ex-owner moved -- good riddance
Lady deserves more
Named after Fawcett?
Best poster ever -- what nips!
Anal cancer sucks
Can you pass up Joe?
What a perfect freakin' cat
Don't make us slap you
This prince among cats
Is neutered, like the owner
Who gave him up. Dick!
EXTRA, EXTRA (read all about it): Thanks to an extremely generous donor of the anonymous persuasion, the first six people who adopt any critter featured in this week's -- or any other week's -- Hair Balls will get a $30 PetSmart gift certificate. Unfortunately, they don't carry beer and smokes, but you can get food and leashes and bones and baths (for the animal, not you).
This offer, which we hope will continue in the future, was made possible in part by our photographer extraordinaire, Robyn Arouty , whose work, by the way, is currently on display at Starbucks at Buffalo Speedway and Westpark (5115 Buffalo Speedway). "Lifesaving 101: Adopt a Shelter Pet" promotes BARC animals. Congrats, Robyn!
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