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If the Wikipedia Boycott of SOPA Spread: Seven Examples of Horror

If the Wikipedia Boycott of SOPA Spread: Seven Examples of Horror

With Wikipedia boycotting the Stop Online Piracy Act today by shutting itself down for 24 hours, the powers that be at the crowdsourced information giant hope we all get freaked out enough by their absence that we tell Congress we think SOPA should not be passed. If you don't know what SOPA is, here's a primer. I'd link you to Wikipedia but, well, you know.

While the shutdown of one Web site isn't enough to cause panic in the streets -- unless those streets are lined with kids who didn't bother reading the book they were assigned for class and need Wiki to fill in the blanks -- it does make one wonder what would happen if other Web sites shut down.

Here are seven examples of the kinds of shutdowns that would drive at least a few people to call their senators.

Craigslist's boycott against SOPA.
Craigslist's boycott against SOPA.

7. Craigslist Not being able to find a used lawn mower at 3 a.m. is annoying, but not being able to find a low-rent prostitute around the same time, that's grounds for a protest march on D.C. And guess what? Craigslist doesn't care. Like Wikipedia, is is boycotting SOPA today too (see screen shot above). If you need a tranny hooker, I feel for you.

6. Fantasy Sports Web Sites You really want to freak out some hardcore fantasy tweakers? Shut down their fantasy site, especially in the last week of the season. You cost some dude a case of Bud Light when he loses his fantasy league and all hell breaks loose in the 'burbs.   5. Tumblr If Tumblr were to go down like it did in December 2010, where will all the crazed hipsters go to see naked people or hipster animals or galaxies in shit? Seriously, where?

If the Wikipedia Boycott of SOPA Spread: Seven Examples of Horror

4. eBay God only knows what people would do if they were unable to bid on that one of a kind porcelain figurine they've been coveting for years. If that goddamn ihearttrolls123 outbids them, there will be hell to pay. 

If the Wikipedia Boycott of SOPA Spread: Seven Examples of Horror

3. Facebook Even I can admit that a day without Facebook would be pretty stressful. It's where I get some of my best gossip and it helps me play Words with Friends, for chrissake!

If the Wikipedia Boycott of SOPA Spread: Seven Examples of Horror

2. Google Just the lost ability to search would suck, but imagine the inability to use the map tool. How in God's name would people find Starbucks? It's not like the company's store locator doesn't use Google map technology. And then there's Gmail...delicious Gmail. God help us!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

1. Porn Let's not fool ourselves, the Internet runs on porn. If the entire world wide web needed extra power, it is likely that power would come from naked people doing it for money. If porn disappeared from the Internet, all hope would be lost and the terrorists will have won.


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