I'm Just Doing Drugs With This Corpse In A Closet, Officer
A week ago we had a not-creepy-looking-at-all guy arrested for doing creepy things to a corpse. Today's corpse-related news, courtesy of the Houston Chronicle, involves a passed-out guy druggin' it up with someone who turns out to be dead. While both were in a closet.
Not a metaphorical closet, either. A real one, on an isolated farm.
Good news for Houstonian Cody Plant, though: Charges of abusing the corpse were dropped. Prosecutors had claimed he "treated the body 'in an offensive manner,'" the Chron reported, but
"the charge was dropped this morning after a judge examined the allegations in a probable cause hearing."
"For this, I went to law school?" the judge somehow didn't say.
Plant and the body were discovered asleep in the closet by the owners of the house, resulting in an all-time quote from Mark Herman of the Precinct 4 Constable's office.
"There were two guys in the closet. They appeared to be sleeping -- one was snoring and the other was deceased," he told a reporter.
"One was snoring and the other was deceased." We think Raymond Chandler opened one of his novels with that sentence. (Farewell, My Druggie, maybe.)
Plant was charged with possession of drugs. The corpse got off scot-free, except for the whole being-dead thing.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.