I'll be honest, I didn't realize that J.J. Watt's inventor had programmed his 300 pound cyborg to take vacations.
I just thought that the modern day Dr. Frankenstein that created Watt embedded some code into his hard drive that triggered an offseason routine that largely resembled the slogan on any Brock Lesnar t-shirt -- EAT. SLEEP. WORK OUT. REPEAT. (As opposed to Watt's regular season slogan -- EAT. SLEEP. SACK BORTLES. REPEAT.)
But alas, I was wrong. Apparently the code includes at least a smidgen of vacation time. Who knew?
It would appear that not only is Watt programmed to take some vacation time, but this year, he is taking it somewhere tropical and luxurious. Per J.J. Watt's Twitter account...
One weekend a year, 10 best friends from high school. Always remember where you came from & who helped get you here. pic.twitter.com/1EgTYda6Uw
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) February 9, 2015
Being one of J.J. Watt's best friends from high school is a pretty sweet gig. I wonder how many of them are in this video...
You've gotta love a bunch of pasty white Wisconsin dudes taking over a man made oceanside swimming pool somewhere, a man made oceanside swimming pool that they appear to have all to themselves. $100 million gets you and ten of your buddies a pretty sweet vacation these days, even if it is just for a weekend.
I presume that Watt is leaving straight from this oceanfront paradise to head back to his secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere so he can work out for 22 hours a day. (I also presume he is swimming back to the mainland and then jogging to wherever said cabin is.) By the way, internet, how has no one superimposed J.J. Watt's head on this Rocky training montage?
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Step your game up, internet.
Eventually, after all the workouts and all the discarded offensive linemen, in order to retain his title of "baddest man on the planet," eventually J.J. Watt must face off against the only other force as freaky scary as he is...Dwight Howard's sport coat....
DWIGHT HOWARD'S SUIT pic.twitter.com/p7tkidnEWN
— The Cauldron (@TheCauldron) February 11, 2015