Judge Bitch-Slaps Mark Thuesen's Bizarre Motion in Swamplot Lawsuit
The malicious prosecution lawsuit filed against former West University condo owner association head Mark Thuesen keeps yielding precious fruit, with the latest being a Harris County District Judge's order expressing his befuddlement over a rambling motion filed by Thuesen.
For the uninitiated, the suit, filed by Laurence Albert, co-founder of popular real estate blog Swamplot, accuses Thuesen of waging an online war against Albert, who had the audacity to cover the clusterfuck of litigation between Thuesen's association and a bar located beside the association's Kirby Drive condo tower. Albert accused Thuesen of anonymously posting vicious, anti-Semitic comments on Swamplot and other sites accusing Albert of being a rapist of both children and horses, among other things.
Apparently, Thuesen's motion for a temporary injunction was too much for Judge Mike Engelhart to handle. In his order denying the motion, Engelhart wrote that Thuesen's pro se, single-spaced, 31-page diatribe "is made up of repetitious legal argument, string citations to Supreme Court precedent, run-on quotations of same...and tiresome exposition and verbal broadsides about all of the alleged wrongs perpetrated against Mark Thuesen from the beginning of time."
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But Engelhart was just warming up: "After an hour or more of reading, the Court cannot make heads or tails of it. Obviously, Mark Thuesen is very smart and very thorough -- he clearly spent dozens of hours cobbling together this lengthy opus." Engelhart then offered a tip, suggesting that it might behoove Thuesen to embrace the less-is-more aesthetic.
"The court STRONGLY recommends to Thuesen that in the future, if he would like the Court to be able to understand and appreciate the merits of his pleadings and motions, he should file MUCH shorter, focused, and DOUBLE-SPACED documents for the Court's consideration."
Attorney Jeff Raizner told Hair Balls in an e-mail that Thuesen "appears to be a serial abuser of the legal system. On behalf of the homeowners association he ran as President, [Thuesen] filed a frivolous lawsuit against Swamplot that was ultimately dismissed, and now his defense is to threaten and file even more frivolous claims and arguments. Our courts are the guardians of our legal system, and it certainly seems that Judge Engelhart is taking a strong stance on this nonsense." (The lawsuit Raizner referred to named the plaintiff as "2520 Robinhood at Kirby Condominium Association, Inc.," and not Thuesen specifically.)
When we e-mailed Thuesen to see if he had a comment, he went into threaten everything that moves mode, writing, "You will be sued within 10 days. Do you have $250,000 to defend yourself?....Do you have a comment on that?" This was followed by an e-mail containing our birth date and former home address.
"I look forward to deposing you for 6 hours," he wrote. (Sounds like he's the Sting of depositions.) Thuesen ultimately made good on his threat, filing suit in Harris County District Court against reporter Craig Malisow Monday afternoon, accusing Malisow of conspiring with Albert to defame Thuesen.
Here are a few more samples of the comments that Albert has accused Thuesen of posting:
[Albert] loves to rub belt buckles on the dance floor at Heavins Gay Club. He brags on not being a spitter. That a boy hold the Mayo. Albert has goat rash.
Look GUS YOU LET ME SHOOT MY LOVE JUICE ON YOUR FACE AT SOUTH BEACH CLUB. YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK BITCH.
How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? You can fit 30. 4 on the seats and 26 in the Ashtray.
Albert and his attorneys also accuse Thuesen of creating a fake blog under Albert's name. Here's the blog's "about me" section:
I am the owner of Swamplot. I use the false name of Gus Allen to hide from all the people who are after me....I love 69 sex with young boys with no pubic hair.
We've reported on our share of pathological behavior over the years, but whoever is behind these comments is toward the top of the list. This ain't your run-of-the-mill mud-slinging; it seems to come from a dark and shattered place. Very sick, and very sad.