When Beelzebub, The Teller of Lies, comes forward, he shall be wearing the mark of the beast and be carrying a barbecue spatula -- Book of Revelations, possibly
Bible prophecy can tell us much, but it didn't help out Lubbock police officer Bryan Schwartner Tuesday.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Schwartner answered a disturbance call that afternoon and encountered Kabir Isola, 20, says KCBD. Isola was ready for battle with a barbecue spatula -- a serrated one, no less. (They take their barbecuing seriously in Lubbock.)
Things got serious, though -- Isola tried to gouge the officer's eyes out, choked him to the point of unconsciousness and tried to throw him off a fourth-floor balcony.
Another officer was able to jump in and control him. When asked, Isola had a perfectly reasonable explanation: He was the devil. Or, to be more precise, the devil was inside of him, and there's apparently nothing the devil likes more than using a spatula on a cop.
Schwartner was taken to a hospital, treated for "multiple lacerations and contusions," and released. Isola was also treated for some minor injuries and then booked for attempted capital murder.