As part of Downtown Houston's annual Holiday Spectacular, Macy's is bringing 15-foot candy cane with a 4-foot hanging piece of mistletoe to Houston for a five-stop tour. Beware ladies, creepsters all over town will no doubt be doubling-down to somehow get your unsuspecting ass under this thing to goad you into a smooch.
I mean, that's how it happens in all the movies. For every kiss that occurs under the poisonous plant, Macy's will chip in $1 each, up to $5,000 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is very cool.
No word yet on rates for teenage grope-filled make-out sessions or even same-sex kisses, but there is only one way to test that. Is it cool if you grab some tit and use tongue? What if you wanna get hold of that ass? Is it cool to bite your partner under the mistletoe?
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From the end of November until New Year's Day the kissing contraption will be stopping at City Hall, Market Square Park, Hobby Center, Wortham Center, and ending up at Discovery Green.
On December 8 at Market Square Park there will be a screening of Love Actually to get everyone's motors running for a big kiss under mistletoe too, because man, that movie sure is sexy, I tell ya.
If screaming Meg Ryan orgasms get you off -- and why wouldn't they? -- on December 27 at Discovery Green there will also be a screening of When Harry Met Sally.
There will also be a "kiss of the week" contest each week, so start practicing your best steamy lip-lock now. It's for a good cause, y'all.