Libertarians Rally for Horse Teeth Floaters
Damnit, Wilbur, fix my ugly ass grill!
In what is apparently the worst government over-regulation since monkeys were banned from grinding organs for a living (damn you, Organ Grinders Local 182!!!), the Texas Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners is meeting to decide whether the important job of horse teeth floating will be handed over to, God help us, veterinarians.
As a result, Libertarians plan to rally in Austin at the site of the meeting Friday morning and whinny their concerns.
Our first thought was, "What the hell is a horse teeth floater?" It's not as strange as it sounds.
Basically, certain breeds of horses have molars that can get sharp and make it difficult for them to chew their food, so they have to be filed down regularly. This job has fallen, according to the Libertarian Party of Texas, to horse teeth floaters "for generations."
Libertarian Party of Texas Executive Director Robert Butler said, "Interior designers, hair and nail salons, and now veternarians are seeking to eliminate their competition by government mandate."
We know what you are thinking. You're saying to yourself, "I'm all for protecting individual liberties, but doesn't the state have a mandate to consider well thought out regulation to protect consumers from..." Oh, that's NOT what you are saying?
Then, perhaps, you are wondering how a clashing (stylistically and metaphorically) coterie of careers like veterinarians, interior designers and hair/nail salon owners could be lumped together into one very uneasy assemblage.
Only Butler knows for sure, but he and the rest of the Libertarian Party of Texas aren't going to let the powers that be literally cut into jobs just because horse teeth floaters aren't proper horsie dentists, not without a fight anyway.
Texas has a long tradition of hard-working entrepreneurs providing important animal husbandry services that veterinarians more often than not do not provide, like horse teeth floating-the practice of filing horses' teeth. But in recent years, the Texas State Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners has gotten fed up with the competition non-veterinarian floaters pose to their industry, and has moved to apply the state's veterinary medicine law to horse teeth floating, making it illegal for non-veterinarians to provide this centuries-old service.
Looks like the fat cats in Austin and their veterinarian golfing buddies are trying to sink their filed down teeth into yet another piece of the equine pie. It's a good thing we have people to "buck" the system. Get it, "buck" the system!
Hi ho, Silver...whatever.