With Lori Darling David being arraigned on Monday for texting nude photos of herself to a teen-aged boy, and Trishana Broussard going to prison for having sex with teen-aged boys, and with an increasing number of women being arrested in Texas for sex offenses, and sentencing guidelines recognizing no difference between the damage done by female sex offenders and that done by men, Hair Balls somehow thought it a good idea yesterday to go down to the playground and talk about sex.
From the basketball court at Meadowcreek Park, we assembled a group of 16-and 17-year-old boys, and unfurled from our hairy fists the mugshots of four female sex offenders. All of these women may have poor judgment and bad taste, we said, but crime implies an injury. Would any of you be injured if an older woman expressed desire to have sex with you?
The boys looked through the pictures quickly, their faces generally registering disgust.
"Just one," said Mario,. "Yeah," said Jose, "that one looks good. Not the others."
Hair Balls saw what they meant: they would agree to have sex with only one of the women. No, we clarified, they'd misunderstood the question. It wasn't whether they'd have sex with one of these older women but whether they'd be harmed merely by an older woman's expression of desire for them.
"Depends how she looks," said Alfonso, frankly. "Now, if she's looking like Beyonce..."
So Hair Balls pointed to Broussard's photo. Jose said he'd "be like, nah -- you got a daughter?" Because, he explained, she wasn't looking like Beyonce. Alfonso, too, said, "I'd be thinking about AIDS." And when Hair Balls asked, wouldn't you think that before having sex with any woman? Alfonso explained, yeah, but it's easier to think about AIDS with ugly women.
We gave the boys the briefest sketch of Broussard's crimes. Would you suffer long-term damage, we asked, if she'd done that to you? "I wouldn't be letting her do that to me," said Alfonso, and it seemed clear to them all that Broussard couldn't force them to have sex.
The consensus was, she was unattractive, and most of the others were, too. Female sex offenders seem, by and large, a homely lot, but the rule is not without exception. Hair Balls pointed a hairy knuckle at Darling David's mugshot. What about her, we asked. How would you feel if this lady texted you a nude photo of herself?
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She was the one who didn't offend Mario and Jose. Luis didn't think she was so hot -- "it's like an old lady," he said -- but everyone agreed that Darling David's nude photo wouldn't have harmed them, or anyone they knew. "I mean, why would it?" said Jose. "People be looking at porn all the time."
Even Luis said, "Tell you what -- I'd keep the photo!" Alfonso, even more, said, "I'm-a be texting her back -- whassup?!"
"Whoo-hoo! Tell me your location," said Raoul. I might have a bike, but I'll get there!"
Hair Balls, with that, bundled up his pictures and left the boys to dream of beautiful female sex offenders.