Louie Gohmert Will Give You $1 Million for Missing IRS Emails
There's one thing we'll say for Rep. Louie Gohmert: The man is inventive.
Have you seen ex-IRS official Lois Lerner's missing emails? You know, the two years worth of electronic correspondence that was lost when her hard drive crashed? Lerner has been accused of targeting Tea Party-tied groups that applied for tax exemptions with the IRS, and it seems Gohmert and company belief the smoking gun (so to speak) will be found in her disappeared email. Gohmert wants those emails found.
In fact, the doggedly dogmatic politician from East Texas is so determined to get hold of them he is willing to pay $1 million of taxpayer money to the genius who can dig up the emails, as Gohmert proposed in the "Identify and Return Sent Emails Act." Gohmert and Rep. Bill Flores (also of Texas and the co-sponsor of the bill) got things rolling when they filed the bill last week. The bill proposes to reward anyone who can produce the missing emails with a $1 million reward and offers a bounty of $500,000 for anyone who comes forward with information about who destroyed said emails.
Yes, we do agree that there is a great deal of irony in the fact that Lerner's emails were lost, particularly since the IRS expects all of us to produce documentation dating back to the uterus. But Gohmert and his cohorts are downright furious about all this (their fury is convenient both because it gives them fodder to get their names in the news and it's another part of the narrative used to get the divisive juices really flowing in America.)
The IRS folks say that the emails were lost when Lerner's hard drive crashed and then were permanently lost when the system overwrote the backup computer things. Gohmert and Flores obviously believe the emails can be found and that the emails will reveal something scandalous since they wouldn't be willing to put government money in it otherwise. So if you have those emails or you have video, then we would advise hanging onto that information until the government payoff gets set up. There is money to be made!
It's hard to say if the great email mystery will ever be solved (they never found those missing 18 minutes of tape from the Watergate thing, and a lot more people were looking for that one.) However, we think one mystery has finally been solved.
Hair Balls has long wondered how exactly Gohmert has managed to gain and hold onto elected office, but now we think we know. His constituents must do it for entertainment out there behind the Pine Curtain. Maybe they've even invented a drinking game: Take a shot every time Gohmert proposes a ridiculous idea, chug a beer every time he produces a bon mot of Gohmert-esque wisdom. There's not much else to do in East Texas so they must have started electing him out of a need for amusement. Otherwise, we're stumped.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.