#Lunchmovement: Texas Teen Wages War Against Michelle Obama's Diabolical Healthy School Lunch Program
Screenshot from @T_Wilss If you think this is bad, you should see fucking "breakfast" and fucking "dinner."
As head of his school's Turning Point USA chapter, the 19-year-old Caskey is urging his peers to tweet pics of apparently gross food (and such small portions!) that is the result of First Lady Michelle Obama's Healthy, Hunger-free Kids Act.
In a brief manifesto, Caskey asks us to posit "living in an America where everything is controlled and regulated by a government," and then expresses solidarity for his downtrodden brethren by pointing out that the "Federal Government can control what your child eats if you do not have the money for their own lunch [sic]. Now they starve even more because the reduced portion size and the grotesque look of the food served."
Caskey urges his fed up (get it?) brothers and sisters to share pics of the apparently disgusting glop dished out at the cafeteria on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, in order that their voices be heard. "Choose Liberty and not Tyranny," Caskey urges, showing his fondness for capitalizing common nouns.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Northwestern State Demons Basketball
TicketsMon., Dec. 19, 7:00pm
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. St. Thomas University Men's Basketball
TicketsWed., Dec. 21, 7:00pm
Advocare V100 Texas Bowl
TicketsWed., Dec. 28, 8:00pm
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Middle Tennessee State Univ Blue Raiders Mens Basketball
TicketsThu., Jan. 5, 7:00pm
Many kids have jumped on the chance to rage against the vending machine:
"Lol the lunch lady wouldn't even put cheese on my spaghetti. I'm glad the school can feed us. Fuck you Michelle Obama--" tweets @madison_bijold.
And @admqueen_ writes "Imma send Michelle Obama a letter about school lunch. That lunch is disrespectful."
There's nothing worse than disrespectful foodstuffs, especially when the 15-year-olds forced to eat the food didn't even elect Michelle Obama! After all, Caskey asks, "Why should we be told how to do something by someone we never elected?"
Although the answer to that is simple ("because") Caskey and the rest of Turning Point USA raise a valid point: they don't have a problem with the "federal government" feeding people for free -- they just think the recipients of free food should be able to pick the menu. Apparently, the alternative to accepting free food that does not meet your palate's strict standards is not bringing your own fucking lunch, it's complaining that the government isn't giving you any chicken tenders.
While we have a problem with the paucity of logic, we applaud the passion. After all, we too demand liberty, and we want it now. With fries.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.